okay have you faced uh
 	
 	
 		
 
 	
 	
 		elderly care yet uh nursing home care for any of your parents
 	
 	
 		unfortunately yes uh in fact tonight i had a dinner with uh my three brothers and our wives and we were talking uh we had a review with the nursing home staff my mother's in a nursing home
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		and uh we had a review today and a few things we had to do that
 		are part of it that you don't really like like uh making decisions on living wills and extended care that type of thing so yes i'm very familiar with it and it's not something that is uh
 	
 	
 		yes
 	
 	
 		you know i never thought i'd have to go
 		through this kind of an experience but i guess we all do
 	
 	
 		i think sooner or later uh
 		both my mother and my husband's mother we had to end up putting in nursing homes and they were to the point that they only lived both of them about six weeks once they got in
 	
 	
 		oh really
 	
 	
 		and uh-huh and it's absolutely i believe that was one of the hardest things i ever did
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		in my life i that it just you know it's absolutely devastating
 	
 	
 		right
 	
 	
 		what have you found in dealing with the nursing homes
 	
 	
 		well they're not every all the horror stories you hear about them i think are true uh
 	
 	
 		yes
 	
 	
 		we've we you know we've looked around and my wife has looked at extensively at all the ones in the area  and the one she is in now um
 		there's a lot of drawbacks a lot of things we don't like but again it's no different than everyone
 		and you know the cost of it three three thousand dollars a month when you think about it for what you're paying a hospital for
 	
 	
 		hm um-hum
 	
 	
 		almost the same well even not as much care
 	
 	
 		yes
 		yes
 	
 	
 		it's not that expensive really
 	
 	
 		no uh
 		there was a little bit of difference in in the two between my mother and my mother-in-law
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		and uh theirs both ran oh i think my mother-in-law's was like fifteen hundred and my mother's was two thousand then this has been five years ago and uh uh one of the things that you know i had discovered is that
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		if they knew that i came in there at all different hours
 		they got much better care
 		than if when i started out with my mother-in-law because she was in there first
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		i would go certain hours and they knew and if i'd pop in unexpectedly i discovered you know they did a little bit they did better
 	
 	
 		oh really
 	
 	
 		you know uh-huh and you know a couple of times with my mother-in-law i would catch something not being taken care of and you know would have to raise so i got to where i knew then when my mother was in
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		that you know not to go the same time all the time
 	
 	
 		yeah
 	
 	
 		and they would and when i was looking for the nursing homes another thing that i learned uh
 		we had my mother all set to go into one and for some reason i just went back and on my own went around the different floors
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		and i saw areas that they had not shown me and they did not come across as well
 	
 	
 		well i'll be darned
 	
 	
 		as you know what they had originally shown me so uh
 		we did not put her in that one we put her in another one that i i went a couple times when they weren't expecting me and saw and you know was much uh better pleased
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 		yeah
 	
 	
 		with the situation
 	
 	
 		yeah you you know this is the whole point you've got you've got to shop them
 	
 	
 		yes you do
 	
 	
 		i know my mother's in now in a unit that's mainly Alzheimer's
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		and um
 		we're convinced that she probably would be better off in a geriatric
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		uh the fact that these people are  they're up and around but they're they're it's reminds me too much of
 		an asylum type situation situation and it's very very
 	
 	
 		uh-huh uh-huh
 		does your mother have Alzheimer's
 	
 	
 		she well who knows they call it uh dementia
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		and uh we don't know i mean she does not know us anymore
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		and whether it's Alzheimer's or what it is nobody really knows but it's basically the same and her health is not that bad
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		although she has gone down downhill drastically since this this this last well she had been in a retirement community and somewhere in so we're in the back of her mind she had it that she would live with her children well
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		she we we just did not have the capabilities to to take care of her
 		and uh but she she has gone down steadily since she has been in and she's been in the nursing home now for  oh i would say about three months
 	
 	
 		um-hum did she know that she was going to a nursing home did she know that she was going to a nursing home
 	
 	
 		and
 		i'm sorry
 		she no as far as she knew she was going to a hospital
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		and that she could she could handle a hospital and we says you know mom if you you know if you get a you get better you've got to have the care the doctor insisted on it you know if you get better that you could come out