to face the situation where you were looking at putting a loved one in the nursing home
 	
 	
 		well i we're sort of in the middle of it um
 	
 	
 		really
 	
 	
 		last February we brought my mother from Florida to us here in Texas and so far she has been with us but
 		i really look to the future that it may be occurring um i don't know what i'll do i i'm almost inclined to hire somebody um to be in our home with her rather than have to
 	
 	
 		um-hum um-hum
 	
 	
 		put her somewhere you know but
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 		you don't feel as though that that's a decision you're comfortable with because
 	
 	
 		well i think  partly and it's not me it's the it seems to me the older generation my mother and father and my in-laws
 	
 	
 		you'd be
 		
 
 	
 	
 		um you know the stigma used to be you went there and and you died and so they have all kind of
 	
 	
 		you feel as though they are being abandoned if you leave them somewhere
 	
 	
 		right
 		you know it just um
 		and you try and say you know they're nice now or or nicer and
 	
 	
 		
 
 	
 	
 		you know i wouldn't want her in one in Florida because i couldn't check on her but if she were in one near here i i would probably be there
 	
 	
 		
 
 		uh-huh uh-huh
 	
 	
 		you know several times per week and i would
 	
 	
 		sure
 	
 	
 		stand up and scream if i saw things that were you know  improper or or uh you know her care was not
 	
 	
 		um-hum um-hum
 		it's difficult boy i really
 	
 	
 		have you had that experience yet
 	
 	
 		can appreciate
 		no i haven't but um
 	
 	
 		well
 	
 	
 		i i work in a hospital and we see patients
 	
 	
 		oh
 	
 	
 		whose families are just not able to care for them once they've left the hospital and so they have to make that decision often when the patient's still in the hospital
 	
 	
 		right
 		it's uh well my father died several years ago and that was you know he had cancer and
 		eventually the hospital comes and says you know your father uh care you know Medicare says he doesn't need the level of care to be hospitalized so you are going to
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		eventually they'll come and tell you you will have two days  to you know move him somewhere else and and that my mother and i needed to think what do we want to do at that point we did because he was
 	
 	
 		so then you begin right
 	
 	
 		not yet comatose but real close and he lived two weeks in the nursing home so we did do that but um at at that time three and a half years ago my mother was in such a
 	
 	
 		um-hum um-hum
 	
 	
 		state of depression i didn't think she could handle even if we had full time around the clock care i didn't think
 	
 	
 		yes
 	
 	
 		emotionally she could handle him being there it  well it yes that too you you know there is no question that uh
 	
 	
 		yes it's a challenging job physically
 	
 	
 		just moving them about is um difficult but it really is and it's just uh and i have friends whose we're all in the age group where
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		were thinking about some of these things for our parents and it really is uh
 	
 	
 		yes
 		yes
 		what are some of the things that you have looked for for example with your father what what helped you identify an appropriate
 		placement was it was it geographic was it how close it was to you or
 	
 	
 		with
 		well of course this again was in Florida actually the level of care and in fact two that we looked at were you know they were all in mauve and blue and very elegant looking and
 	
 	
 		oh that's right
 	
 	
 		and so on but i didn't like the fact that they had you know eight patients for one uh you know nurse or one care giver and the one we selected was not nearly as
 	
 	
 		care giver uh-huh
 	
 	
 		uh up to date however it was clean  and the patients were well cared for and i like it because it had a level of five to one and i felt that  that would be
 	
 	
 		yes
 		
 
 	
 	
 		better care for my father uh and but several of her neighbors and friends oh but you ought to i said i know but
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		we're making this decision and my mom basically let me make the decision so
 	
 	
 		um-hum
 	
 	
 		um and she was pleased with it because he did get um
 		you know just wonderful care
 	
 	
 		that's a pretty important factor too that really influences the degree
 	
 	
 		oh absolutely i don't care what you know one of these had a little ice cream parlor and i looked at the manager i said my father you know will never get out of a bed i don't care about a ice cream parlor
 	
 	
 		
 
 	
 	
 		you know if you went there and you were in your seventies and well you just went there
 		to a you know retirement center yes you could do all that good stuff but this was
 	
 	
 		more a transitional setting
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		i wanted him cared for and and not left uh you know if he spoiled his linens or something i did not want that
 	
 	
 		exactly
 	
 	
 		you know there what do you do in a hospital work with okay all right
 	
 	
 		my job is as occupational therapist um
 		a lot of what we are looking at are are skills that the person is gonna have to be able to perform to be able to live independently once they leave the hospital and we sometimes help the family make that decision if it looks like they're gonna be able to
 		get in and out of bed or on and off the toilet with just a little bit of help then that's something that they can manage but
 		you you're talking about an elderly spouse and when it involves quite a bit of assistance and lifting you don't want the other person
 	
 	
 		right