okay no my father was in a nursing home and
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 		
  
 	
 	
 		i just uh i really hope that i would just die before before and matter of fact you know i feel the same way for my mother
 	
 	
 		yeah
 		how long ago was that
 	
 	
 		uh he was in the nursing home about four years ago but he was you know in there for several years
 	
 	
 		okay
 		yes but that was uh okay so that was fairly recent and even then
 	
 	
 		yes
 	
 	
 		a lot of the conditions i think you're right they haven't improved that much
 	
 	
 		no they haven't and they they uh
 		the way they the way the uh nurses and the nurses aids and  they treat them
 	
 	
 		yeah um-hum yeah the
 	
 	
 		they treat them they treat them just utterly horrible they cuss them they tell them how sorry they are and that they're you know they uh one uh aid told him that he was no longer a man
 	
 	
 		yeah
 		huh
 	
 	
 		you know i mean good you know it's it's it's really really bad and and on and on top of that i worked in a i'm i'm out of the warehouse now but i worked in a warehouse in the company for the company that i'm working for now
 	
 	
 		sounds tough
 		yeah
 		right
 	
 	
 		and
 		two of the women that were utterly horrible
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		worked uh in the nursing home worked off and on for years in nursing home and they hate old people
 	
 	
 		oh yeah that's that  doesn't seem right does it
 	
 	
 		
 
 		yeah oh yeah that's really i'll say you know this really makes me feel good about what's going  but uh
 	
 	
 		yeah
 		i you know you walk into one of those places and you basically start to feel depressed because they don't
 		a lot of places don't have a good atmosphere they're just it's almost like they just shove people in there and wait for them to die
 	
 	
 		right
 	
 	
 		you know and it's it's really it's a bad problem uh i work at Honeywell up here and i was talking to a guy that's actually working toward mobility aids for handicap people
 		and one of the things he's done is interview uh nursing home directors because they're looking for  get this they're trying to find out ways to restrain patients
 		so that they don't look like they're restrained because apparently the family members who come to visit get upset understandably upset when they see that their loved one is in restraints you know
 		uh at the same time you have to restrain him because they might hurt themselves they might stand up and not be able to to stay stood up or might fall down or whatever
 	
 	
 		oh how horrible
 		right
 	
 	
 		so it's an interesting problem that's just one of the many things that you know you have to think about in a nursing home
 	
 	
 		right
 	
 	
 		but you know the stuff that you told me is there's no excuse for that you know
 	
 	
 		i know it there is no excuse that uh
 		uh
 		you know my uh one thing you really must do you know i feel like that go to a nursing home drop in at times that you don't normally drop in
 	
 	
 		right stuff when they're not on their guard you know
 	
 	
 		right and don't uh i i would go visit a nursing home uh several different times several different nursing homes before
 		you came to the point of having to put a family member in there
 	
 	
 		oh sure you know it's it's really a good idea to look at places and see what's out there and see what the the modes of treatment are
 	
 	
 		right
 	
 	
 		and and how people act
 	
 	
 		right it's uh it's you you it's the same it's the same premise as day care for a child
 	
 	
 		yeah you know it really is you know that brings up a good point i've got a friend of mine up here and we were talking about this because his father is getting to the age where they're going to have to decide what to do and
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		he brought up a real interesting suggestion that works well for families that have a lot of kids in it like i come i come from a family that has five kids
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		well the way he said it was
 		our parents
 		spent you know quite a bit of time when we were young taking care of us you know call it call it three years per child now if you have five children that's fifteen years total
 	
 	
 		certainly
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		therefore shouldn't it be right that they should be able to stay with one family member uh in a rotating fashion for fifteen years free of charge
 	
 	
 		well you dadgum right if you know
 	
 	
 		there you go it it's essentially repayment
 	
 	
 		right if you uh
 		if the uh parent and the children will do that but there's okay
 	
 	
 		yeah that's it but the thing is hold on i got one more thing and i'll let you talk  because we started talking about that you know we started saying well you know some family members might not agree to do that
 	
 	
 		i'm sorry
 		right
 	
 	
 		and he said fine let the one who does agree to do it keep him keep the father keep the father or mother for a longer time and charge the family member who doesn't cooperate just say basically look
 	
 	
 		
 
 	
 	
 		uh i'll take care of mom and dad for you but you have to give me a kind of a payment for doing that for you
 	
 	
 		right
 	
 	
 		you know so essentially it it relieved them of the burden
 	
 	
 		uh-huh
 	
 	
 		uh
 		and at the same time everybody kind of comes out happy i don't know if that would work but then again it it depends on the family size
 	
 	
 		right it may work with some families and it may not work at all with some families you know but my Lord you know i had a a
 	
 	
 		yeah uh-huh