Reefer Madness
            

            ELLEN:

            Last day for us on 
                  Slate
               , so let's do some housekeeping. My
friend Al From Baltimore, who was my partner at Baltimore 
               City
Paper , and more conservative than me, has enjoyed our exchange. Although he
thinks I should be more MUGGERish and call you a commie or something.

            I don't think there will be a three-way race in New York. As I've stated
before, I think Hillary will not run and Rudy will win. The Conservative Party,
if Rudy doesn't adhere to their pro-life line, will huff and puff, and follow
the dictates of the National Republican Party. None of these New York GOPers
wants to incur the wrath of a possible President Bush.

            As for Dole, there's no way she'll be the veep. The choice will be Tom
Ridge, governor of Pennsylvania, a pro-life conservative with a military record
who's from a Rustbelt state. That's the candidate Bush needs. Don't get me
started with that Neanderthal creationism jazz in Kansas. What nonsense.

            As for drugs, Matt Drudge reports today that the Dallas Morning News
will have a story saying that Bush, coyly, has said he hasn't used drugs in the
past seven years, the amount of time necessary for an FBI OK at the White
House. I hope he sticks to his guns on the cocaine question. His "I won't play
the gotcha game" answers to reporters have shown the most passion in his
speeches so far, recalling Reagan's spontaneous, and successful, "Mr. Green [or
whoever that was], I'm paying for this microphone!" blast in New Hampshire back
in '80. Frankly, I don't give a shit if he did snort coke years ago, although
my sources in Austin say he didn't. So what? One thing that bugs me the most
about politicians, who are truly an odious lot, is their namby-pamby position
on pot. Obviously, this wasn't a problem years ago, but now that Boomers and
Gen-Xers are running for office, they have to answer and inevitably, like Rick
Lazio, that little shit, they say something like "Well, as a college student I
tried marijuana two or three times, but it was foolish." I'd love, just once,
for a serious candidate to say: "Yes, I smoked pot a lot and really enjoyed it.
Just like I enjoyed having several beers at a dance. I was alive at a time when
pot was part of the culture, I was curious, and you know what, it was pretty
damn cool. Made me think in a different way. But I don't smoke anymore."

            That would satisfy me. I smoked pot for years and don't regret it a bit. I
mean, who didn't? I did coke, but didn't like it. It made me feel like such a
whore: Since I didn't have much money, you'd always have to schmooze the person
who had the stash, even if you didn't like him or her. That made me feel cheap.
Also, coke didn't last long enough. Now, crystal meth, that was an excellent
drug that I used a lot in college. I would snort it to pull all-nighters
putting out my college paper, chasing it with Squirt soda, and then have a few
beers to calm down. I remember one final exam where I was totally fried, and I
just undid my aluminum packet of crystal and snorted right on the desk in the
exam room. The professor was oblivious. I got an A.

            I don't do drugs now, but it certainly was part of my teens and 20s. I wish
politicians could be honest about it.

            Next installment: the Village Voice .

            Best,
RUSS