Learn Liposuction at Home!
            

            Hey, Dave--

            Oh, man. Now you've done it. You've brought up my single favorite TV show
name of all time: Shasta McNasty . It's just fun to say: Shasta
McNasty, Shasta McNasty, Shasta McNasty. Say it loud, and there's music
playing; say it soft, and it's almost like praying. Shasta McNasty.

            Yeah, I saw that story about the placement of anti-drug messages, and, while
I agree with the Times in general that this has the potential to devolve
into propaganda, I also happen to believe that anyone who does anything just
because Blossom told him to gets whatever he deserves.

            In other news, I neglected to mention yesterday my single favorite sentence
of the day, from a story in the Wall Street Journal about
Jack-in-the-Box Corp.'s annual report: "The 1999 report opens with 14 pages of
verse, narrated by fictional CEO 'Jack,' a sometimes-evil clown with a head
that resembles a ping-pong ball." I'm sure 
                  Slate
                readers can fill
in their own David Gergen joke here.

            As for my favorite sentence from today's papers, there's no contest. From a
USA Today story on the dangers of plastic surgery, a quotation from
plastic surgeon Rod Rohrich: "Patients should assume nothing. Anybody can do
liposuction. Even dentists have been doing it." Which, to me, suggests three
things: First, from here on out, no matter what procedure I go in for, it's
local anesthetic for me. Second, I foresee a boom in correspondence-school
"learn liposuction at home!" programs. And third, of course, is that this
suggests a new lyric for the Cole Porter standard, "Let's Do It (Let's Fall In
Love)": "Birds do it, bees do it/ Patients should assume nothing, even dentists
have been doing it/ Let's do it, let's fall in love."

            By the way, drugs is bad. May I have my check now, please?

            Tim