Slap Happy
            

            You know, I've never been able to figure out what it is about Evil Clowns
that makes them so darn funny, but the mere mention of an Evil Clown makes me
giggle like Bill Clinton watching a nudie flick. Like Rudy Giuliani cutting off
homeless benefits. Like Slobodan Milosevic singing opera at a ... ah, you get
the point. So I salute you, my friend, for bringing up Evil Clowns. Makes me
want to eat at Jack-in-the-Box.

            Speaking of Evil Clowns, I've been reading a bit about yesterday's debate
between Gore and Bradley and the exchange that's gotten all the play is the one
where Bradley challenged Gore to march into Clinton's office and make the
president sign an executive order to end racial profiling by law enforcement.
Gore snapped back, saying that Clinton "doesn't need a lecture from Bill
Bradley." Is it just me, or do these guys come up with rejoinders that the
average third-grader would be ashamed to use? My prediction: Before it's all
over, Gore and Bradley abandon the electoral process and have a slap fight to
see who gets the nomination, and that could mean big bucks for the Democratic
National Committee. Think about it--Bush has a huge war chest, and what better
way to fill the DNC's coffers than to air a slap fight between a former senator
and the vice president of the United States on pay-per-view. With the right
promotion, this could be the biggest thing since Prince's "Rave Un2 the New
Year" millennium special. (OK, bad example. I could air home movies and draw a
bigger pay-per-view audience.) Wanna get in on the ground floor with me?