New Republic , March 24 (posted Friday, March 7) "The Great Equivocator" bashes CIA Director-nominee Anthony Lake as too wishy-washy to head the agency: He was soft toward the Soviets during the Cold War, he's soft toward the Chinese now, and he's scared of using force to achieve foreign-policy goals. The editorial asserts that welfare reform is already a success, since AFDC (Aid to Families With Dependent Children) caseloads are falling everywhere. (For Slate's take, see "The Best Policy.") Also, the fund-raising scandal: A parody makes fun of the White House as a "DNC Luxury Hotel." Economist , March 8 (posted Friday, March 7) The cover story and editorial on "The Future of Warfare" predict that satellites, unmanned planes, and computers will replace soldiers. The Economist says that the United States will dominate the high-tech arms industry, but that its rivals will counter with biological weapons and terrorism. A long feature frets about China's weakness : It's plagued by poverty, inequality, pollution, etc. Also, a gloomy article on the welfare bill: Training AFDC recipients to work will be extraordinarily expensive and, in many cases, futile. (For another view, see the New Republic , above, and Slate's "The Best Policy.") New York Times Magazine , March 9 (posted Thursday, March 6) "The Age Boom" package celebrates life after 65. The lead article gloats that senior citizens live longer, more vigorously, and more comfortably today than ever before. An economist argues that we shouldn't worry about rising medical costs, since the money buys good health and happiness. An advertising executive predicts that Madison Avenue will finally start pitching products to seniors. New York City is touted as a wonderful retirement community: You can walk everywhere, there's plenty of culture, and the hospitals are excellent. Also, eight elderly celebs talk about how great it is to get old. Rolling Stone , March 20, and The New Yorker , March 10 (posted Wednesday, March 5) Both magazines profile Howard Stern, whose biopic, Private Parts , opens this month. Rolling Stone 's cover story traces Stern's history from mediocre rock DJ to king of shock jocks. The New Yorker puzzles over Stern's psyche: His program is pure id--vile, cruel, crude--yet he remains a faithful husband and devoted father. Also in The New Yorker , an admiring profile of business-news tycoon Michael Bloomberg suggests that he has the brains and financial muscle to cripple Dow Jones. A long piece on China describes one family's struggle to survive the Mao and Deng eras, while the opening "Comment" says that Chinese involvement in the campaign-finance scandal could sour Sino-American relations. Also in Rolling Stone : global warming. A piece argues that rising carbon-dioxide levels are almost certainly causing the weird weather of the 1990s, and that they will cause unimaginable devastation if the world does not slash fossil-fuel consumption soon. Time , March 10, and Newsweek , March 10 (posted Tuesday, March 4) Time's and Newsweek 's cover stories describe the cloning process, predicting that the technology will be used on humans in seven years ( Time ) or in one to 10 years ( Newsweek ). Neither is terribly keen on the idea, but both agree that human clones would be normal. On the business side, Time is bearish on biotech stocks, while Newsweek is bullish. Time 's cloning package also includes a short story and a cartoon. Both Time and Newsweek jump on the Lincoln Bedroom story, emphasizing the president's intimate involvement in fund raising. A Newsweek column by former Clinton adviser George Stephanopoulos calls the White House fund raising "unpleasant but necessary": The president needed money to prevent a Democratic primary challenge and to overcome the GOP's traditional fund-raising advantage. Time's profile of Trent Lott reaches the same conclusion as numerous earlier profiles of the Senate majority leader: Like Clinton, Lott is a compromiser. Also in Newsweek , an article about David Helfgott, subject of the movie Shine : It says he is a wretched pianist. U.S. News & World Report , March 10 (posted Tuesday, March 4) U.S. News ranks graduate schools. There are few surprises. Yale is tops for law, Harvard for medicine, Stanford for business, MIT for engineering, Columbia for education, NYU for film. The requisite campaign-finance article notes that Clinton, who has been an avid fund-raiser since his days as governor, loves consorting with rich people. Former Clinton adviser David Gergen turns on his old boss, writing that his "calculated exploitation of the nation's highest office" displays a "stunning crassness." A Q&A about Dolly concludes that a cloned human would have its own soul. Also, a piece investigates how Asian logging companies are despoiling rainforests in Central and South America. Weekly Standard , March 10 (posted Tuesday, March 4) Editor William Kristol recycles the advice he dispensed to the Republicans in a cover piece just two months ago. The "cowering," "brain dead" party must revive itself by opposing partial-birth abortions, fighting affirmative action, blocking Clinton's appointment of liberal judges, and getting tough on China. An article on the fund-raising scandal suggests that the White House is terrified at the prospect of more Ickes documents, more China revelations, and the possible cooperation of key players like John Huang. Also, a piece condemns American history textbooks, which "read like one long lawyer's brief in the case of Oppressed People v. White Males ." The Nation , March 17 (posted Tuesday, March 4) The six-story cover package, titled "The Crushing Power of Big Publishing," follows the theme of last year's "National Entertainment State" special issue. The lead story bemoans the rise of gigantic publishing houses, the demise of independent bookstores, the unholy marriage of publishing and television, and the abysmal quality of contemporary books: "Today's worst ... is much worse than the trash of yesteryear." A fold-out chart depicts how a few conglomerates (News Corp., Hearst, Viacom, Advance, etc.) control the publishing industry. A piece argues that sentences in books are getting shorter, indicating a "dumbing-down" of readers. (It's true. I'm sure.) Also, an article claims that Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, who serves on the ABA Journal 's board of editors, gave the legal magazine suggestions about how to cover Whitewater. Harper's , March 1997 (posted Friday, Feb. 28) An article deplores modern libraries for buying too many expensive, hard-to-use computers and too few books: "Unique, anomalous, unconventional knowledge" is being lost. (And the worst part: Libraries aren't even silent anymore!) Another article calls the rebuilding after the 1991 Berkeley Hills fire an "architectural disaster." Grotesque, overdesigned mansions have risen where beautiful, modest houses once stood. Also, a writer spends a sunless winter in Greenland: She drinks a lot. --Compiled by David Plotz and the editors of Slate .