Economist , Sept. 19 (posted Saturday, Sept. 19, 1998) For the second straight week, the cover editorial urges President Clinton to resign. He may survive impeachment proceedings, but he will be so distracted by the fight as to be unable to lead the country. The honorable thing to do is hand the reins to President Gore. An accompanying essay predicts that this scandal will cause several changes in the future, among them, a reduction in the power of the independent counsel and more restraint on the part of the press. (See "International Papers" for what France has to say on independent counsels.) ... A story says that eating breakfast helps kids do well in school. A study in Baltimore and Philadelphia showed that kids who ate a free school breakfast each morning got higher grades and were better behaved than their nonbreakfast-eating peers. New York Times Magazine , Sept. 20 (posted Friday, Sept. 18, 1998) A special issue on television. The lead essay claims that television has always been the same--game shows, kid shows, sitcoms, dramas--and always will be. The difference will be specialization: gay game shows, Asian-American sitcoms, etc. ... A story says that NBC got rooked when it renewed E.R. for $13 million an episode. Left hitless when Seinfeld ended and CBS stole football, the network was forced to pay $286 million a year for the medical drama, "more than twice" what it "had totaled in profits the previous year." ... A hilarious section lets celebrities describe the TV shows they would most want to produce. Garry Shandling offers Bill and Bill , a "half-hour semi-erotic situation comedy" in which the romantic leads are a postal worker and his talking pet dog. Conan O'Brien suggests Mr. President, Private Eye : "President Jack Camden is the elected leader of the free world. He's also a crime buff, and whenever his official duties take him within 50 feet of a jewel theft, murder or art forgery, Camden can't help turning amateur sleuth." ... Also, various celebs pen odes to their favorite TV shows--Robert Pinsky on The Simpsons , Richard Ford on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood , Deepak Chopra on The X-Files. New Republic , Oct. 5 (posted Friday, Sept. 18, 1998) The two cover articles belittle the Starr report--one on legal grounds, the other on literary grounds. The first story argues that Starr has found no grounds for impeachment, only "technical violations of criminal law that have no obvious connection to the president's official duties, which was precisely the vision [of impeachment] that the Framers [of the Constitution] rejected." The piece refutes all Starr's 11 supposedly impeachable offenses. The second essay wittily assesses the literary value of the report, comparing it with classic novels of adultery such as Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina . Starr offers unnecessarily colorful detail: "Instead of prosecuting a case, his narrative enacts a drama, and makes sympathetically banal what might have been merely illegal." Vanity Fair , October 1998 (posted Thursday, Sept. 17, 1998) VF excerpts two new books about Michael Jordan. Passages from Jordan's new autobiography emphasize his profound respect for the game of basketball, his coaches, and the star players who came before him. Excerpts from David Halberstam's Michael Jordan: The Making of a Legend chronicle Jordan's rise from a talented but unknown high schooler to the best college player in the country. Central theme: Jordan's love and respect for Dean Smith, the legendary coach who shaped him at the University of North Carolina. ... An essay mocks authors Jay McInerney and Bret Easton Ellis for their obsession with fashion models (both are releasing new books about models). A male fascination with female models indicates 1) adolescence or 2) homosexuality. The article notes that Easton Ellis is gay and makes veiled remarks about McInerney's sexuality. ... Top Five on VF 's list of the "New Establishment: The Top 50 Leaders of the Information Age" include Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch, Michael Eisner, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner. Esquire , October 1998 (posted Thursday, Sept. 17, 1998) Well timed for the bear market, Esquire publishes a doom and gloom issue. The cover essay compares our present economy to the bubble of the 1920s. It predicts a brutal worldwide depression, leading to totalitarianism and world war. History will view us as it views Jazz Agers: superficial, greedy, and oblivious. Time , Newsweek , and U.S. News & World Report , Sept. 21 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 15, 1998) Starr all around. All three mags excerpt the report at length (not edited for bawdy language, but with parental warnings). Time 's coverage seems most pro-Clinton: "[T]here is reason to recoil at some of Starr's tactics; he included far more sexual detail than was necessary to prove his point, and at times ignored or discounted evidence that contradicts his case." Newsweek runs an essay from George Stephanopoulos claiming that Clinton will never resign and will fight to the finish, but "won't be revered as our leader." Both U.S. News and Newsweek advise on how to explain the seamy details to your kids (be honest yet elliptical; whatever you do, don't talk about the cigar). Both Time and Newsweek analyze the Constitution's section on impeachment, focusing on the ambiguous phrase "high crimes and misdemeanors." They conclude this means whatever Congress wants it to mean. The New Yorker , Sept. 21 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 15, 1998) An essay partially blames all-news TV stations for Flytrap. Channels such as CNN and MSNBC have an incentive to create must-see news stories that drive up ratings. People keep up with "event" stories (O.J., Di, Monica) or risk becoming social outcasts, unable to talk about what everyone is talking about. ... A story argues that pain is all in the mind and that we should treat, not dismiss, patients with unexplained chronic ailments. There needn't be a physical injury for the brain to send pain signals, and that pain is as real to the sufferer as it would be if she'd hit her thumb with a hammer. Doctors are seeking superstrong, nonaddictive painkillers and may have found them in substances extracted from certain snails and frogs. (Full disclosure: The article is by Slate medical columnist Atul Gawande.) ... A special fashion section includes a profile of the late British-American designer Charles James, a look at high fashion in Moscow (once denim, now foreign couture--that is, until the ruble crashed), and a review of a new Coco Chanel biography. Weekly Standard , Sept. 21 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 15, 1998) The Standard drools over the Starr report and calls for a lightning impeachment process. The editorial argues that "Bill Clinton is asking Congress to judge acceptable a president revealed to the world as a lout and liar and criminal. Congress must refuse the request and remove him." How excited is the Standard ? An article predicts Al Gore's presidential advisers and Cabinet. ... A funny piece reports from an academic conference on pornography. Tweedy professors and porn starlets mingle at presentations such as "Cum Shots: History, Theory, and Research." (Isn't this also a chapter heading in the Starr report?) The Nation , Sept. 28 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 15, 1998) The Nation remains above the Starr fray, barely acknowledging Washington goings-on. Instead, the cover piece is a long essay by Indian novelist Arundhati Roy mourning India's acquisition of the nuclear bomb. She complains that India has it backward: The country resists Westernization in the cultural realm (literature, fashion, film) but joins the West in nuclear proliferation. More Flytrap ... --Seth Stevenson