well Brent i've been um
i kind of gave up my career about three years ago to stay home with my children because i thought uh if it it's only going to be another year until the youngest is in school
right
and i thought it was a good sacrifice to make
uh-huh
because um it was important to me to to spend some time with kids i know that when i was in school and getting my degree at the same time my husband was it was really hard on our family because i would
he would come home and i would leave and then when i would come home and he would leave and um
right
so i think one day one of our kids said you know someone came home and they said well when is dad leaving or something it was like that they thought that's the way life was that you didn't have two parents at home at the same time
uh-huh
and so i think um it's become real important to me that we try to spend time together as a family
so there's one or two nights a week we have a on Monday nights we set aside time where it's called uh family home evening and we stay home that evening all of us and we do things together
uh-huh
um
you must be LES
yes
so am i yes what a coincidence
oh you are
yes and
yeah i know what family home evening's all about
so you do that and right and then we try to do a family activity on Saturday usually in the morning
um-hum
right and then the family home evening too
right and then you know sometimes we try to do our lesson on Sunday night and then our activity or something on Monday but
right
we're it's real important to us to spend time together
well that's good
um how many children do you have
i have two
two what what do you have
um-hum
i have a girl and a boy and the boy's five he's in kindergarten and the girl is four she'll be in kindergarten next year
five and four
um-hum
i have two daughters
um-hum
my oldest is uh four and my youngest is about to turn three
hum uh-huh
two girls
and they are a handful
they are a handful
yes we we've my uh well when we first got married my wife worked for a year
then we decided to have kids
uh-huh
and uh she she got pregnant and then
we decided she would stay home with the kids
we would make that sacrifice it is a financial sacrifice to make because we go from two incomes down to one
um-hum
and uh we made that decision
and uh so she after she had the first baby she stayed home
and and we had a second baby and she's still at home
yes
and so uh
you know at work a lot of people are you know i think well this is not a normal situation anymore in our in our
world we live in most of them uh continue to work if they have have kids
um-hum
i only have one other person i know in my in my group here that works where the wife stays home
and that's because of religious values as well they're Baptists and they and they think that's important
um-hum
but everybody else works and they drop their kids off at day care and and leave them and
i don't know i just don't want i just don't want strangers raising my children
well no and it's it's just not um it's not as stable for the kids and they everybody decided to come over and talk to me right now but uh it's yeah
right
that's how it is at our house when you're on the phone oh it's open
anything goes when mom's on the phone
well it's also important i think um for my husband i i try to go out of my way to to plan things that he can do with the kids because
um-hum
since i am home with them and so i get a lot of time with them he needs to have um some time with them so he when he comes home he um
you know it's his job at night he puts the kids to bed and he reads
right
right
to them and he he spends about an hour doing that and that's that's pretty good quality time with them and um but it's hard for him on Saturdays he he wants
right
with all the yard work and things like that
right he wants to run out and get things done and so
um i try to say well why don't you go fly kites or why don't you do something and
um-hum
if i have something in mind then he he remembers that that's what he wants to do
um-hum
right we feel that you know just spending time together
you don't necessarily have to be doing anything you know that costs money
or or you know that requires you to go a great distance or anything like that it's just the kids like to being together as a family
uh-huh
like last Saturday we went had some errands to run and so we took the kids and
and we went by the Farmers Market down in in down there in Garland
um-hum
and they had a blast running around the Farmers Market looking at all the you know the food and tasting all the free samples
they were giving out and they had a little pen there with animals in they could pet you know and they liked that and
uh-huh
then on the way home we drove by the local high school and there happened to be an FA FAA Future Farmers FA Future Farmers of America FFA
yes
going on there and they had all kinds of pigs and horses and goats and sheep and everything you know all out in this in the in this schoolyard there so we just said hey let's stop and
um-hum
and the kids got to go around and you know see pigs and animals and things like that and
and for them that's wonderful you know they they they thought it was the greatest fun you know and it didn't cost any money
and uh you don't have quite as much money when when the wife doesn't work
well that's right
but i do think um you know like the current trends are that um the family unit is devaluated it's not nearly as important we find that
right
you know back just even fifty years ago when people had had financial problems the fir st place they went to was their family and families took care of themselves and um
um-hum
but now you know people don't they don't support each other that way
right
right oh definitely motherhood is devalued in this society society if you're stay home and you're a mother it's like
what a waste people think you know you should be fulfilling yourself and and a mother isn't an important
um-hum
that's right and
important thing as as having a career and and that should be first and and children second but
they don't have kind of an what we call an internal perspective of things that
right right right and it's not an easy sacrifice for a person to make because you know i you know i have interests
no
right
that too and it is hard to make uh those interests not be as a major part of my life
uh at this point it's not to say that some day you won't go back to work my mother's a school teacher and
um-hum
and when when we started uh having kids she had to work for a little while but then she just started substituting
uh-huh
so she would just substitute once or twice a week you know just for that little extra money
when we were in school then we would just come home and just be you know go to a neighbor's house for an hour then she'd be home but she wouldn't do that every day
right
but now that my
my uh youngest sister's at BYU now and so they have no one at home she's back teaching school full time now again
so if you know it's not it's just a temporary thing
it is temporary it in the middle of it it seems like a long time but you're right it is temporary
um-hum
well i see that we both share the same belief here that it's important that we spend time with our kids and and in spite of
yeah
yeah
yeah you it's it's hard sometimes at work because you know people say oh we're taking a cruise we're going here we're going there you know because they have a lot more money
um-hum
and a lot of them decide just not to have children it's it's amazing they either have one or none
yes
that's true
and and the one person i know that has one they they feel guilty she has this continual guilt trip that she's not doing the right thing and so
on uh on weekends she would you know
spend all of their time with their kids and spend lots of lots and lots of money basically i think they they really spoil the child to try to overcompensate for their guilt feelings
um-hum
and and and they don't want to have anymore children because they just don't think you know
that she doesn't think she could be a mother at home that's not her bag so she just doesn't think she could
you know the guilt feelings she can't deal with with it anymore so
yes
well it is the hardest thing i've ever done as much as you'd go out
you know
um-hum yeah my wife uh
and
likes staying home
uh-huh
uh she works at home some though
uh-huh
the place she works with worked with before um worked out an arrangement with her where she can work at home
well that's good
part time
and so uh that it's kind of a seasonal thing three times a year she's really busy doing certain things based on that kind of business but the rest of the time she's free
um-hum
she likes to sew and do crafts and things like that
so she enjoys staying at home but uh the money part of it is not as rewarding obviously but
no
there's different rewards you know different kinds of rewards
yeah i think so i think it's an investment in your future even if it's purely not
not religious you can at least say that it's important to our country that our family unit stays strong
right right right and you really have to make a quite a bit of money the wife doesn't make it worth it with the cost of day care
um-hum
yes
i know there's you know
when you adjust your income for what you put out for day care you know you're only making like five
