so um you said you don't have kids but um you're interested in the topic
well yeah and um actually i'm very interested we are my husband and i are thinking very soon um about having children and i think that i am just um
a little bit
uh brainwashed or whatever by just thinking that kids are so wonderful and cute and i can't wait to have one and i don't see the real responsibility of it
uh-huh
um and an actually how dramatically
your life can change when you do have children
right
do you have kids
yes yes i have one son who's now uh eighteen and he's a sophomore in college
oh
oh wow
and it it does but i was very lucky in that i was um teaching at a university and so basically and lived within walking distance
oh
so i was able when he was little just to um leave him with a neighbor in uh one of these carry cots
um-hum
and then go up and teach a class and come back
wow
because i could do my work at home and my my students who were working on their master's degrees and stuff would come to my house and i would meet with them there
um-hum um-hum
so it was really ideal and then later on um when he was gee maybe two and three i actually took him then i changed to a different school but it was still within walking distance
oh that's great
and um he spent a lot of time in my office because i was uh department chairman
um-hum
and um you know really didn't interfere because all his life he had sort of been used to there were quiet times
uh-huh yeah
and so and that worked out great
that's wonderful how is it now i imagine you said he's a sophomore
yes
so this is is he living at home
yes he's commuting it's um about
gee he commutes forty five minutes a each way but he has to allow an hour and a half going to school because it's too too chancy for him to miss classes
um-hum
but
oh really
and so actually we don't i mean we still spend a lot of time together in the sense that we are always together for dinner and and
um then you know he's in the house studying in the evening
uh-hum
and he also works and so um he usually calls me
um-hum
um-hum
at when he gets home from school at noon i mean not not checking in but more gee you know missed you you know what with this is what's new type of thing and i think we have a very good relationship from that standpoint but i think it's
uh-huh
um-hum
yeah
unusual and i think part of it is that that we were abroad for a good part of the time
that's great
oh really
until till um six years ago
where what part of Europe
well i was actually in the Middle East
oh my goodness
so
oh how nice was he raised bilingual as a bilingual was he bilingual yeah
yeah
bilingual yes yeah actually um
he he was more in a sense raised trilingual in that i spoke Spanish to him when he was a baby
oh my goodness
and then but he always answered in Arabic because he heard more Arabic than Spanish
um-hum
and then when we first came to visit my mother he picked up English when he was two and a half
oh my gosh
and he had heard me talk English on the phone but you know he hadn't he really didn't use it
uh-huh
that is wonderful boy i i
so
i am Arabic actually my background is um my my grandparents are from Syria
oh
where are you from
oh okay
and um
i wish that my parents had taught me Arabic when i was younger it was really a sort of the taboo language
um-hum
when i was little um you know there was the whole and and there still is
cause you they were newly in this country
well my parents were born here my grandparents moved here um
ah
um-hum
and then had my parents shortly after they moved here
where were they where they what village
in Damascus
oh from Damascus okay
um-hum from Damascus all of them actually
oh okay
and um i just i think it's a real shame because now i don't have the patience and i don't have the ability you know at my age to start learning a foreign language
um-hum
but when you're a kid you just pick it up so naturally
yeah but see there's a big big issue there because my my family spoke German at home so that we couldn't understand
um-hum
oh really
and and my um nieces and nephews are not learning their mother's language
uh-huh
so that i think this is a a tendency in the States is because it's a melting pot so i think my son had the advantage of we were actually living outside the country
yeah
so there was a reason for him to learn it
yeah um-hum
that's true
yeah it's really hard
yeah do you think that your being in academics um helped your son
he sounds like he is very responsible and um you know seems to be concerned about his studies
well i'm not so sure that it's the the academics as much as spending time with him
um-hum
and i've been concerned in the States since i've been back with the number particularly in the Washington area where i live now
um-hum
oh
um with a seeing how many kids come home to empty houses and like in our court we live in our townhouse court
yeah
um-hum
and there's seven year olds that come home and they're locked out
oh jeez
and you know some of the neighbors sort of feel sorry sorry for them and and
you know would be very responsible if something happened but the parents aren't willing to to pay that person to sort of be in charge and and i think this is
yeah um-hum
i you know i've just seen so much of it here in this country that you wouldn't see in in certainly not in the Arab culture i mean
uh-huh
yeah oh no that for sure
people people are more important than things so
and then everyone wonders why why like you said that seven year old you know why two months from now he's on drugs or something
he's a terror well he's a terror he just you know climbs on cars walks around the court threatening people with sticks
oh really
oh jeez
oh well he has no discipline i mean no one is there to tell him what's right and what's wrong
yeah it
right now would you continue do you work now
yes i do i work full time and my husband actually is going for his PhD and uh would like to teach
oh
uh-huh
and be a professor um hopefully somewhere in the south i i i'm from
Boston and i i'm fed up with the cold weather really between Boston and Rochester
um-hum um-hum
but um ideally i would um i want to have a child and i'd like to be able to be home for a year
right
and i really just selfishly don't want to miss that
uh-huh
and um you know my husband's schedule hopefully will be flexible um
in that he could do a lot of his work at home
um-hum
and um i'm not sure i i still want to work i think that's very important
right
to keep that up and i don't want to um you know i don't want to go several years without working outside the house
uh-huh
but um
but i think that him being um a little bit more flexible with his schedule will really help us out a lot
uh-huh
so that that's nice thing about teaching
right right that you he'll be able to spend more time which is so important
right and i imagine that obviously your summers were a lot lighter as far as work load
right actually we traveled extensively because i was doing archeology and so
oh
oh wow
you know he was always able to come with me on all my travels because a lot of the places i went by car of course
um-hum
oh sure
and i mean you know i was living in the middle of it and i took every advantage and and you know he doesn't dislike travel now he might not like it
um-hum
uh you know he might not feel compelled to travel because he has seen a lot but he's very comfortable traveling
right
uh-huh
um-hum
and so
well he has done more and seen more than most people do in a lifetime it sounds like that's wonderful and it it sounds like he really appreciates it too
that's right that's right
right you know that that remains to be seen but yes i think so i think so
that's great
so
does he have a girlfriend oh
no
no and and and i find that interesting because he's been two years ahead in the schools here
oh wow
and so he always you know was treated like little brother when the band needed transportation they'd say oh he can't drive so
ah
you know when he's a senior he can drive some of the the younger kids around type of thing
um-hum
and he didn't he didn't get his license i mean he was just sixteen when he graduated from high school so
um-hum
you know he he has friends but he doesn't have any you know he hasn't really gotten into the social thing
uh-huh
and he's i think that's all right he's going to it looks like finish his degree first before he gets too involved
um-hum
um-hum well that's a good idea
yeah
you know it's it's i would love when i was little i had friends and they had enormous families and i would love to have a large family it seems so expensive though
to think about raising a child besides just the the essentials you know clothes and food and this and that
right
i really feel like there's this whole um you know you have to keep up with the Jones or whatever they say and uh you know it just seem like when i you know watch
that's right
but you don't have to keep up i mean kids appreciate it more if you don't
really
i think if if things are special and are for them they see that their kids are being bought
um-hum
that their friends are being bought by their parents
yeah
well i hope so i mean i look at these toys on TV and i just think oh my God they didn't have those when i was little
uh-huh and they don't need them and they don't even appreciate them
yeah
i mean that's my feeling i think you know from what i see a lot of people just
uh-huh
it's a token you know you don't have me so you have all these material things
um-hum yeah that's true
well it's interesting well i don't know i think i'm ready for it a couple of years we got married a couple of years ago and i thought oh my God i'll never be ready for a kid
um-hum
but i i definitely think i am now
oh very good and it sounds like you have good values and
yeah
