Modernist Ice Sculpture
Perhaps USA Today could start a regular feature: "On This Day in
(fill in date), Larry King Said ..."
June 12, 36000 B.C.: Caught an elk yesterday. It was very tasty. ... If you
ask me, this fire thing isn't gonna last. ...
December 26, 0: Jesus Christ born last night. Seems like a decent guy. ...
How 'bout them Magi?. ... What is myrrh, anyway?
February 8, 1601: Will Shakespeare's latest, Hamlet , is a pip, but
it's no "Faerie Queen." ...
April 16, 1865: A pity about President Lincoln. ... I like cheese. ...
By the way, speaking of columnists, where has the New York Post 's
Joey Adams "Just for Laughs" column gone? I know he's dead and all, but
still.
In other news, the Wall Street Journal has made up for yesterday's
Page One story with a whole slew of wonderful news items. For instance,
according to today's "Business Bulletin," "Boat parties, casino nights, and
mashed-potato bars are out." A corporate party-planner explains that potato
bars, which feature "martini glasses filled with whipped mashed potatos and
accompanied by an assortment of toppings," are declining in popularity, which
astonishes me, because I'd never heard of such a thing in the first place. Have
you? I've never been handed a martini glass full of potatoes in my life. The
planner, the delightfully named Nora Feely, also explains the drop-off in
casino nights and events held on boats: "People are tired of being trapped."
Sounds about right to me.
The same column also features the following news item: "This year's top
winner at the 17 th annual Plymouth International Ice Sculpture
Spectacular is Ted Wakar of Canton, Mich. He wins with an 'abstract' ice
carving, which a spokeswoman described as indescribable." These two sentences
have made me happier than anything I've read in a very long time.
Meanwhile, did you see that Hedy Lamarr has died? News like this always
seems to me to be twofold: 1) Hedy Lamarr has died; 2) Hedy Lamarr was, until
very recently, alive. Who knew? Whenever I read an obit like this--Myrna Loy's,
a few years ago, comes to mind--I always have the same, irrational thought:
"Hey! I could have called her yesterday!" Not that I would have. But I could
have, if I'd wanted to.
Tim
