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Kwitcherbellyachin'
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Do you worry that the
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national debt will impoverish your children? Are you incensed about paying
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thousands in taxes just to cover the government's interest costs? And do you
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long for a political hero who will dare to close the budget gap, even if it
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means raising taxes? If so, I have one word for you. I learned it from Ann
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Landers. The word is: kwitcherbellyachin'. Your share of the debt is an
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entirely voluntary burden. If you don't want it, you can dispose of it this
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afternoon. You can do the same with your children's share. All you have to do
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is pay off what you (or your children) owe.
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Be
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careful, though: There's a wrong way and a right way to handle this. The wrong
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way is to send the U.S. Treasury a contribution earmarked for debt reduction.
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They'll accept your gift all right, but they won't credit your personal
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account. Instead, your share of the burden--like everyone else's--will fall by
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a tiny fraction of a cent.
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Here's the right way to retire your share of the
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debt. First, calculate how much you owe. Suppose, for example, that you're the
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average American. Your share would be about$15,000. All you have to do is lend $15,000 to the government.
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The easiest way to do this is to buy a $15,000 Treasury bond. From that moment
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on, you will owe $15,000 to yourself , which is as good as owing it to
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nobody at all. Each year, you'll pay taxes to cover your share of the interest
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on the debt, and each year, that money will come right back to you as interest
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on your bond. For all practical purposes, you'll have opted out of thedebt burden entirely.
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If it's your children
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you're worried about, give them the bond. Let them collect interest
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until the day of reckoning when that political hero finally arrives to raise
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taxes and retire the debt. Then they can sell the bond and use the
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proceedsto pay their
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taxes.
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The
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only possible objection to this scheme is that you have to come up with $15,000
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to buy a bond. But on the other hand, if the politicians take your advice and
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raise taxes in order to pay off the national debt, you'll have to come up with
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that same $15,000 to pay your share of those taxes. So buying bonds is no
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more attractive than being taxed for debt reduction, but it's no
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less attractive either. If your mantra is, "Go ahead and tax me but
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spare me this debt burden," it's time to stop chanting and essentially,tax yourself.
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Ageneration ago, economics textbooks used to dismiss the
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debt burden by asserting that we "owe it to ourselves," meaning that some of us
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(the taxpayers) owe it to others of us (the bondholders). That was scant
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comfort to those who paid taxes but didn't hold bonds. But the old semi-wisdom
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becomes genuine wisdom when embellished with the observation that anybody who
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wants to can become a bondholder--and that buying bonds is no more painful than
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paying taxes to alleviate the debt.
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Whenever I hear somebody
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griping that the national debt is too high, I nod in apparent agreement and
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point out that the problem is more general than that. "Not only is the debt out
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of control," I say, "but so is my front lawn. The grass is ridiculously high.
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When will the politicians finally face reality and force me to mow it?"
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This
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usually has one of two desirable effects. Either the griper moves to the far
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end of the room, or he asks, "Why not just mow the lawn? Why would you need the
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government to force you?" In that case, I reply: "Well, why not just buy a bond
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and eliminate your share of the national debt? Why would you need the
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government to raise your taxes?" I don't mean to say that everyone should buy
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Treasury bonds. I'm saying only that everyone who complains about the
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debt should buy Treasury bonds--and then stop complaining.
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In dismissing bogus concerns about the national debt, I do
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not mean to dismiss legitimate concerns about government spending. Your share
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of government spending is something you can't opt out of, short of
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emigrating or resorting to felonious tax evasion. That makes government
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spending a fair target for your indignation.
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Suppose a reckless
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Congress decides to appropriate $10,000 of your money to finance a worthless
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aircraft carrier or a worthless social program. Then one of two things must
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happen: Your taxes will rise by $10,000, or else, your share of the debt will
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rise by $10,000. Either way, you've got a legitimate gripe.
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But if Congress opts for
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debt over taxation, you can count on thoughtless commentators to denounce the
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interest payments on that debt as a second, and separate, outrage. That's
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wrong, because you can (if you wish) buy a $10,000 Treasury bill that will
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bring all your interest payments right back to you--thereby, in effect, taxing
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yourself to pay off the debt right away, and limiting your damage to the
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initial $10,000.
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The great burden of
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government is that it spends your money. Those politicians who have devoted
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their lives to exacerbating that burden--like Bob Dole and Bill Clinton--would
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prefer to divert your attention to relative nonissues like the deficit. Don't
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fall for it.
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