Over the past few months
in my cross-divisional capacity, I have been formulating plans for Microsoft to
operate as a real player in the NY/LA Media and Entertainment nexus. This is
the first of a number of directives I plan to issue to that end.
As you are all aware,
Microsoft has moved heavily into media, and our division is a key part of that
strategy. After six months of study I have determined--through a ton of
research and collaboration--that one of the key elements missing in the
Microsoft culture is some sense of the hype, buzz, style, and attitude that are
so key to success in the media and entertainment industries.
If we want to play with
the big boys in LA and NY, we have to dress like the big boys in LA and
NY--even if we are girls.
I hope that we will have
your support in this effort to make us more competitive and Seattle a real hub
for media and entertainment.
Effective immediately, all
media and editorial folks will conform to the following dress code:
1) Wear more black. My
suggestion is that one piece of black clothing be immediately visible at all
times. Not only is it a good idea and slimming, it can help us to identify the
greater and greater numbers of editorial- and media-type folks now working on
our RedWest campus. (I wouldn't be surprised if traditional Microsofties
started incorporating our fashion sense as well.) Which brings me to ...
2) Polar fleece will be
worn only under other items of clothing and only for the purpose of warmth on
days that the thermometer in the cafeteria dips below freezing point at
noon.
3) Microsoft Training and
Certification will immediately launch a new series of courses called "Dressing
for Media." Each course will take only one morning to complete, and I think
that all will find it quite useful. Pamela Lopez, a new employee from
Vogue , will be leading the morning sessions for women, and is
spearheading creation of the Day to Evening Makeup Web site. (Though it was
originally intended only for the internal audience, we hope to eventually
establish Pamela's Web site as a platform, much like Expedia, and to sell it to
Revlon, Maybelline, etc.) The focus will be very much along the IDA--gain
insight-make decisions-take actions--lines of the enhanced Service Journalism
Mission that has been evangelized for our division. Let's remember that it's
not that Microsoft folks don't want to look chic--it's just that they need help
choosing which shade of blue eye shadow works this spring.
4) Our next ISM Editorial
Lead meeting will be an offsite to discuss "Bringing Fashion to RedWest." It
will be at Barneys downtown.
5) Our cafeteria
contractor, Marriott, has agreed to allow ISM editorial folks to reserve tables
upstairs in the Euro Cafe. Involved with this is a major re-org. Chief
latte-puller Walter will be moving to a new and more appropriate position as
maitre d', stationed at the Building A entrance. The company has agreed to
purchase a limited number of white tablecloths, real silver, and nonrecyclable
crystal. Full-time employees holding a blue ID card may reserve tables on a
first-come-first-served basis. An orange contractor card automatically gets you
seated in Siberia. Sorry, the tax laws. You know.
6) Prada and Gucci will be
opening boutiques in the Microsoft Company Store. Estimated date of arrival:
May 1998 (but that could slip).
7) We will have Casual
Fridays like all other good media companies, but that doesn't mean you should
just slip back into your Office 97 jacket or that favorite Microsoft Bob
T-shirt.
8) No shorts before
Memorial Day.
9) No Teva sandals after
Labor Day.
10) Hemp is not an
approved fiber.
11) College T-shirts are
not chic.
12) If you're pulling an
all-nighter, bring a change of clothing, please.
13) Gentlemen may remove
their jackets if attending an offsite at GameWorks.
14) Blue hair is
appropriate only for those who have graduated from college in the previous 12
months.
15) Security-guard chic
went out last year. Displaying your Microsoft employee ID badge outside your
clothing will not win you a place on Mr. Blackwell's Best Dressed List, and is
no longer acceptable.
16) Wear
sunglasses--preferably black--inside. Incognito is mandatory for media types.
(And it's good cover when your eyes glaze over during discussions of SQL
servers.)
17) Finally, to raise our
profile as media players, Motorola StarTAC cell phones will be issued to all
media employees. However, as part of our attempt to participate in Microsoft's
program to control the cost beast, they will not be connected for service.
