A Tough
Decision
You might notice in the next
few days, we hope, that Slate's pages are being served up to you a bit faster.
(Well, this Thursday we were still serving up Wednesday's edition for a good
part of the morning, but that's a different story.) The reason for the
increased speed is new Web server software. This is the software we use to
deliver pages to you.
We knew
it was time to upgrade, but we faced a dilemma: Which new server software
should we choose? The software business is viciously competitive, of course,
and we didn't make our choice lightly. Deputy Editor Jack Shafer headed an
investigative team of editors, writers, developers, and a demographically
correct cross section of Slate readers (83 percent male, 77 percent college
graduates, 3.9 percent cross-dressers, 17 percent purchasers of a toaster or
other electrical appliance in the past three months).
Our ServerSearch
TM team traveled the
globe in pursuit of the very best software for serving you, our readers. In an
Eskimo village near the Arctic Circle in Alaska, they sampled server software
made with whale blubber, as the natives have been doing it for thousands of
years. In China, the team met a 6-year-old boy who has developed server
software based on Confucian principles and the sayings of the late chairman
Deng Xiaoping ("Better a pig with HTML than a donkey who knows DOS"). In
Silicon Valley, they were wined, dined, and offered bribes by slick
twentysomething CEOs of companies with names like Fraudicom, EgoSoft, and Greed
Systems PLC.
Back here
in Redmond, the team rigorously tested each piece of software on genetically
engineered laboratory mice. Could the mice design a Web page with working
hyperlinks? Did they develop cancer or brain tumors? Did they turn into
Internet bores? The software was then exposed to extreme conditions: zero
gravity, below-freezing temperatures, peanut butter in the disk drive, elderly
grandparents with their first computers, etc.
Finally, the team reassembled for a retreat at
a luxury resort in Maui. Human-resource facilitators were brought in to conduct
trust games. An acupuncturist was hired to alleviate the stress of this
momentous decision. Several team members dropped out and had to be replaced by
alternates. At a marathon all-night session, it took 73 ballots before a
consensus emerged. Bleary-eyed but triumphant, the team emerged into the moist
Hawaiian dawn to announce the winner to the awaiting world.
"We have chosen," Shafer
declared, "Microsoft Internet Information Server 3.0. There were many fine
competitors. But in the end we decided that Microsoft's product had the edge in
ease of use, elegance, and--above all--job security."
"Whew!"
said Bill Gates. "That was a close one."
Slate's
Schedule
For new arrivals to our site
(welcome!) and for regular readers who are a bit confused about our schedule
(and who can blame them?), here is how it works. Slate posts new material every
weekday. Monday through Thursday, we "go to press" with the next day's edition
at about 5 p.m. PST (8 p.m. EST). Friday, we publish the weekend edition at
about 11 a.m. PST (2 p.m. EST). In general, arts and cultural articles are
posted early in the week, and newsier and political stuff is posted Thursday
and Friday. "The
Week/The Spin" is updated throughout the week, the "Diary" has a new
entry daily, and contributions to "Dispatches & Dialogues" are posted as they arrive.
"The Fray," our reader forum, is active 24 hours a day,
seven days a week.
Most articles remain in the
current contents list for a week. All past articles, features, and columns
remain available in "The Compost."
"Slate on Paper," our
specially formatted print-out version of Slate, is e-mailed to readers
Friday around midday. It also can be downloaded from our
site. Those services are free. An actual paper edition of "Slate on Paper"
can be mailed to you (call 800-555-4995), but that costs money and can take a
few days to arrive.
Is all
that clear?
--Michael
Kinsley
