Hellfire and dalmations.
Hellfire
and Dalmatians
Doggonit! Way back, last
December, Slate warned the world not to believe all the Disney propaganda about
the charm of Dalmatian puppies. Contrary to 101 Dalmatians --in either
its original cartoon format or last year's real-people-and-real-dogs
remake--Dalmatians are not cute. As David Plotz
reported: "Dalmatians are high-strung. They're hyperactive. They bark too
much. They're bad with children. They shed constantly. They're hard to train.
... They are, in short, lousy pets." Ignoring (or possibly, though it is hard
to imagine, unaware of) this sage counsel, many families went straight from the
multiplex to the pet store and brought home a spotted darling of their own.
Now these families are
saying, with Lady Macbeth, "Out, damned Spot!" According to the New York
Times (building on earlier reports from WABC and the Columbia Journalism
Review ), Dalmatians are being abandoned in droves. "Animal shelters say
owners have found the dogs high-strung, willful and aggressive." Furthermore,
there are "health problems associated with overbreeding," including "deafness
and urinary tract problems." (These problems are manifest, in case you were
wondering, in the offspring that result from overbreeding, not in the dogs on
overbreeding duty.)
Animal
rights activists are predicting another wave of Dalmatian refugees when a new
TV series based on the movie begins airing. Please: Avoid taking animals home
just because they seemed cute on the screen. People too, for that matter.
Lion and
Lamb
As some
readers may have learned in Time or the Wall Street Journal this
week, Slate and America Online have come to an agreement on a new relationship.
Beginning soon, Slate will be an "anchor tenant" on AOL's Newsstand. (For more
details, check out the press release.) Just so there is no confusion about this, let us
be clear: Slate is not "taking over" or "swallowing up" America Online. AOL
will continue to function as an independent online service. Its customers will
be free not to read Slate if they so desire. Slate, for its part, will retain
(and cherish!) its sibling relationships with the Microsoft Network (MSN) and
MSNBC. All will be peaceful and joyous. Of course Slate does retain the right
to swallow up America Online at some future date.
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--Michael Kinsley
