ArticleIP_2370.txt

   
   
      
         
            The logistics of presidential adultery.

             

            The Washington Times
could hardly contain its excitement: "A former FBI agent assigned to the White
House describes in a new book how President Clinton slips past his Secret
Service detail in the dead of night, hides under a blanket in the back of a
dark-colored sedan, and trysts with a woman, possibly a celebrity, at the JW
Marriott Hotel in downtown Washington." For Clinton-haters, Gary Aldrich's tale
sounded too good to be true.

            And it was. The
not-so-Secret-Service agent's "source" turned out to be a thirdhand rumor
passed on by Clinton scandalmonger David Brock. Those who know about White
House security--Clinton staffers, the Secret Service, former aides to
Presidents Reagan and Bush--demolished Aldrich's claims. Clinton couldn't give
his Secret Service agents the slip (they shadow him when he walks around the
White House), couldn't arrange a private visit without tipping off hotel staff,
and couldn't re-enter the White House without getting nabbed. (Guards check all
cars at the gate--especially those that arrive at 4 a.m.)

            Even so,
the image resonates. For some Americans, it is an article of faith: Bill
Clinton cheated on his wife when he was governor, and he cheats on her as
president. But can he? Is it possible for the president of the United States to
commit adultery and get away with it? Maybe, but it's tougher than you
think.

            Historically, presidential adultery is common. Warren
Harding cavorted with Nan Britton and Carrie Phillips. Franklin Roosevelt
"entertained" Lucy Rutherford at the White House when Eleanor was away. America
was none the wiser, even if White House reporters were.

            Those who
know Clinton is cheating often point to the model of John F. Kennedy,
who turned presidential hanky-panky into a science. Kennedy invited mistresses
to the White House for afternoon (and evening, and overnight) liaisons. Kennedy
seduced women on the White House staff (including, it seems, Jackie's own press
secretary). Kennedy made assignations outside the White House, then escaped his
Secret Service detail by scaling walls and ducking out back doors. If Kennedy
did it, so can Clinton.

            
Well, no. Though Clinton slavishly emulates JFK
in every other way, he'd be a fool to steal Kennedy's MO d'amour . Here's
why:

            
               1) Too many people would
know. Kennedy hardly bothered to hide his conquests. According to Kennedy
mistress (and mob moll) Judith Campbell's autobiography, those who knew about
their affair included: Kennedy's personal aides and secretary (who pandered for
him), White House drivers, White House gate guards, White House Secret Service
agents, White House domestic staff, most of Campbell's friends, a lot of
Kennedy's friends, and several Kennedy family members. Such broad circulation
would be disastrous today because:

            
               2) The press would report
it. Kennedy conducted his affairs brazenly because he trusted reporters not
to write about them. White House journalists knew about, or at least strongly
suspected, Kennedy's infidelity, but never published a story about it. Ask Gary
Hart if reporters would exercise the same restraint today. Clinton must worry
about this more than most presidents. Not only are newspapers and magazines
willing to publish an adultery story about him, but many are pursuing
it.

            For the same reason, Clinton
would find it difficult to hire a mistress. A lovely young secretary would set
off alarm bells in any reporter investigating presidential misbehavior. Says a
former Clinton aide, "There has been a real tendency to have no good-looking
women on the staff in order to protect him."

            
               3)
Clinton cannot avoid Secret Service protection. During the Kennedy era, the
Secret Service employed fewer than 500 people and had an annual budget of about
$4 million. Then came Lee Harvey Oswald, Squeaky Fromme, and John Hinckley. Now
the Secret Service payroll tops 4,500 (most of them agents), and the annual
budget exceeds $500 million (up 300 percent just since 1980). At any given
time, more than 100 agents guard the president in the White House. Top aides
from recent administrations are adamant: The Secret Service never lets
the president escape its protection.

            So what's a randy president to do? Any modern presidential
affair would need to meet stringent demands. Only a tiny number of trusted
aides and Secret Service agents could know of it. They would need to maintain
complete silence about it. And no reporters could catch wind of it. Such an
affair is improbable, but--take heart, Clinton-haters--it's not impossible.
Based on scuttlebutt and speculation from insiders at the Clinton, Bush,
Reagan, and Ford White Houses, here are the four likeliest scenarios for
presidential adultery.

            
               1) The White House
Sneak. This is a discreet variation of the old Kennedy/Campbell liaison.
It's late at night. The president's personal aides have gone home. The family
is away. He is alone in the private quarters. The private quarters, a k a "the
residence," occupy the second and third floors of the White House. Secret
Service agents guard the residence's entrances on the first floor and ground
floors, but the first family has privacy in the quarters themselves. Maids and
butlers serve the family there, but the president and first lady ask them to
leave when they want to be alone.

            The president dials a
"friend" on his private line. (Most presidents placed all their calls
through the White House operators, who kept a record of each one; the Clintons
installed a direct-dial line in the private quarters.) The president invites
the friend over for a cozy evening at the White House. After he hangs up with
the friend, he phones the guard at the East Executive Avenue gate and tells him
to admit a visitor. He also notifies the Secret Service agent and the usher on
duty downstairs that they should send her up to the residence.

            A taxi
drops the woman near the East gate. She identifies herself to the guard, who
examines her ID, runs her name through a computer (to check for outstanding
warrants), and logs her in a database. A White House usher escorts her into the
East Wing of the White House. They walk through the East Wing and pass the
Secret Service guard post by the White House movie theater. The agent on duty
waves them on. The usher takes her to the private elevator, where another
Secret Service agent is posted. She takes the elevator to the second floor. The
president opens the door and welcomes her. Under no circumstances could
she enter the living quarters without first encountering Secret Service
agents.

            
Let us pause for a moment to demolish two of
the splashier rumors about White House fornication. First, the residence is the
only place in the White House where the president can have safe (i.e.
uninterrupted) sex. He can be intruded upon or observed everywhere
else--except, perhaps, the Oval Office bathroom. Unless the president is an
exhibitionist or a lunatic, liaisons in the Oval Office, bowling alley, or East
Wing are unimaginable. Second, the much-touted tunnel between the White House
and the Treasury Department is all-but-useless to the presidential adulterer.
It is too well-guarded. The president could smuggle a mistress through it, but
it would attract far more attention from White House staff than a
straightforward gate entry would.

            
Meanwhile, back in the private quarters, the president and friend get
comfortable in one of the 14 bedrooms (or, perhaps, the billiard room). After a
pleasant 15 minutes (or two hours?), she says goodbye. Depending on how long
she stays, she may pass a different shift of Secret Service agents as she
departs. She exits the White House grounds, unescorted and unbothered, at the
East gate. The Risks : A gate guard, an usher, and a handful of Secret
Service agents see her. All of them have a very good idea of why she was there.
The White House maid who changes the sheets sees other suspicious evidence. And
the woman's--real--name is entered in a Secret Service computer. None of this
endangers the president too much. The computer record of her visit is private,
at least for several decades after he leaves office. No personal aides know
about the visit. Unless they were staking out the East gate, no journalists do
either. The Secret Service agents, the guard, the steward, and the maid owe
their jobs to their discretion. Leaks get them fired.

            That said, the current president has every reason
not to trust his Secret Service detail. No one seriously compares Secret
Service agents (who are pros) to Arkansas state troopers (who aren't). But
Clinton might not trust any security guards after the beating he took from his
Arkansas posse. Also, if other Secret Service agents are anything like Aldrich,
they may dislike this president. One Secret Service leak--the lamp-throwing
story--already damaged Clinton. Agents could tattle again.

            
               2) The "Off-the-Record"
Visit. Late at night, after his personal aides and the press have gone
home, the president tells his Secret Service detail that he needs to take an
"off-the-record" trip. He wants to leave the White House without his motorcade
and without informing the press. He requests two agents and an unobtrusive
sedan. The Secret Service shift leader grumbles, but accepts the conditions.
Theoretically, the president could refuse all Secret Service protection, but it
would be far more trouble than it's worth. He would have to inform the head of
the Secret Service and the secretary of the Treasury. The president and the two
agents drive the unmarked car to a woman friend's house. Ideally, she has a
covered garage. (An apartment building or a hotel would raise considerably the
risk of getting caught.) The agents guard the outside of the house while the
president and his friend do their thing. Then the agents chauffeur the
president back to the White House, re-entering through the Southwest or
Southeast gate, away from the press station. The Risks : Only two Secret
Service agents and their immediate supervisor know about the visit. It is
recorded in the Secret Service log, which is not made public during the
administration's tenure. Gate guards may suspect something fishy when they see
the car. A reporter or passer-by could spy the president--even through tinted
windows--as the car enters and exits the White House. The friend's neighbors
might spot him, or they might notice the agents lurking outside her house. A
neighbor might call the police to report the suspicious visitors. All in all, a
risky, though not unthinkable, venture.

            
               3. The Camp David
Assignation. A bucolic, safer version of the White House Sneak. The
president invites a group of friends and staffers--including his paramour but
not his wife--to spend the weekend at Camp David. The girlfriend is assigned
the cabin next to the president's lodge. Late at night, after the Hearts game
has ended and everyone has retired to their cabins, she strolls next door.
There is a Secret Service command post outside the cabin. The agents on duty
(probably three of them) let her enter. A few hours later, she slips back to
her own cabin. The Risks : Only a few Secret Service agents know about
the liaison. Even though the guest list is not public, all the Navy and Marine
personnel at Camp David, as well as the other guests, would know that the
presidential entourage included an attractive woman, but not the first lady.
That would raise eyebrows if it got back to the White House press room.

            
               4. The Hotel Shuffle.
The cleverest strategy, and the only one that cuts out the Secret Service. The
president is traveling without his family. The Secret Service secures an entire
hotel floor, reserving elevators and guarding the entrance to the president's
suite. The president's personal aide (a man in his late 20s) takes the room
adjoining the president's. An internal door connects the two rooms, so the aide
can enter the president's room without alerting the agents in the hall. This is
standard practice.

            Late in the evening, the aide
escorts a comely young woman back to the hotel. The Secret Service checks her,
then waves her into the aide's room. She emerges three hours later, slightly
disheveled. She kisses the aide in the hall as she leaves. Someone got
lucky--but who? The Risks : The posted Secret Service agents might see
through the charade. More awkwardly, the aide would be forced to play the seamy
role of procurer. (He would probably do it. Kennedy's assistants performed this
task dutifully.)

            In short, presidential
adultery is just barely possible in 1996. But it would be extremely
inconvenient, extremely risky, and potentially disastrous. It seems, in fact, a
lot more trouble than it's worth. A president these days might be wiser to
imitate Jimmy Carter, not Jack Kennedy, and only lust in his heart.