ArticleIP_3534.txt

   
   
      
         
            

            
               Drawing upon her rich
experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions
about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send
your questions for publication to [email protected]. Queries should not exceed 200 words in
length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably
including your location.
            

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               Long
ago I read, in the Tiffany Manners for Teenagers book, that a gentleman
should never wipe up anything he accidentally spills in a lady's lap. This
suggests to me that our president IS a perfect gentleman, but should this point
of etiquette always be followed in cases of possibly impeachable
offenses?
            

            

               --Thoughtfully,
            

            
               Susan Easton
            

            Dear
Thought,

            Prudie believes the
Tiffany Manners people would be pleased to update their book to keep up
with developments ... however , Prudie suspects that impeachable offenses
would be applicable to so few teens that the lap etiquette will remain
unchanged.

            You were
nice to call the president "a perfect gentleman." Prudie is betting that's the
only compliment he's received on his manners since, oh, January.

            --Prudie, primly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               If only Monica had had the
sense to write her Aunt Prudie, perhaps none of this might have
happened!
            

            
               How'd
you like to be in the powder room with them when she and Linda Tripp bump into
each other next time?
            

            
               --M.F. in
Boston
            

            Dear M.,

            You are too kind about
Prudie's persuasive abilities. Perhaps you will be cheered to know that most
people don't seek advice before they enter an affair, only after. In Monica's
case, though, it is tempting to think, "What if?" Prudie thinks: What if the
president weren't so keen on pizza?

            In any
case, something Prudie doesn't want to think about is the powder room
scene you fantasize. It would no doubt make the roller derby look demure.

            --Prudie, modestly

            

               
                  Dear
                
               
                  Prudence,
               
            

            
               I'm often asked to
contribute to various (and numerous) causes. However, I am currently limiting
my donations to a select few organizations. Despite the tax benefits that are
available from deducting such contributions, I am ambivalent about giving. The
reasons are: 1) I do not want to wind up on donor lists and be badgered for
more donations. I want to give whenever and wherever I choose. 2) I do not want
to be put on mailing lists that are shared among other charitable groups. This
only compounds the first problem.
            

            
               I've tried to think of
ways to contribute anonymously, but can't think of a good way. Can you?
            

            
               Thank
you in advance. Wanting to stay
            

            
               --Anonymous, Anywhere,
USA
            

            Dear
Anon,

            With a
check to the charity of your choice can go a note asking that your name not be
shared or put on a list and that any donor list show your gift as having come
from "Anonymous." You can make these requests a condition of your continued
support. If you want to remain really unknown, your bank can issue a
draft, akin to a cashier's check, or you can arrange a money order.

            --Prudie, charitably

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               Why
does everyone keep insisting this whole Clinton mess is a "sex thing"? It isn't
a sex thing. It's a "lying thing," and we need to take it seriously. A leader
needs credibility, and people need to be able to trust his judgment. Clinton
has lost that. Instead, every decision out of the White House will now be
viewed by the world with a Wag the Dog cynicism. Do we really want to be
the laughingstock of the world? Let's get him out so we can maintain what
little credibility America has left.
            

            
               --Truthful in
Torrance
            

            Dear
Truth,

            Prudie
would not disagree with you and finds Mr. Clinton is only an embarrassment on
days ending in "Y."

            --Prudie,
sympathetically

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               In the good old days,
when folks retired after 30 years in the same office, it was usually a
moderately festive occasion. A going away gift and cards would be presented,
and people would say nice things.
            

            
               Today it seems that
people are often hustled out of the office in the dead of night, and we learn
of their departure by accident. Of course many employers have legitimate
concerns about security and trade secrets and the like. And perhaps there is a
human resources professional somewhere who says that cutting the cord quickly
is best.
            

            
               But
the question remains: Should a group organize and bid adieu to someone who has
suddenly disappeared?
            

            
               --Your Advice,
Please
            

            Dear
Your,

            What with
"downsizing" as commonplace as it is, the country would be engaged in one
continuous "retirement" party if everyone did as you suggest. Good-hearted of
you, though, to want to organize a proper farewell. If a special friend has
been found redundant, as the Brits say, by all means take that person to lunch
and include other interested mourners, I mean, co-workers.

            --Prudie,
festively