ArticleIP_3566.txt

   
   
      
         
            

            
               Drawing upon her rich
experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions
about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send
your questions for publication to [email protected]. Queries should not exceed 200 words in
length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably
including your location.
            

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               My
wife and I have been married 11 years. Everything about our relationship is
great, except for one very minor problem: We sleep in a king-size bed, and I
feel we both might sleep better in two double beds. (I would for sure.) I am
thinking of a setup like the one in I Love Lucy , where they slept in the
same bedroom but in separate beds. We both move around a lot in our sleep, and
I really don't like it when a toenail pokes me somewhere unpleasant just as I
am drifting off. I hesitate to bring it up with my wife, because I don't want
to hurt her feelings and have her think I don't want to be near her, and I
don't want friends and family to think we are even weirder than they already
believe we are (married 11 years, no kids). I would appreciate any
suggestions.
            

            
               --FSR in Fort Walton
Beach, Fla.
            

            Dear F,

            Prudie can relate, having
been socked a time or two by the beloved when he's dead to the world. A good
night's sleep, however, should be your paramount concern, and not everyone is a
neat sleeper.

            A single
bed is no barometer of a relationship. Prudie suggests you tell your wife (and
not friends and family) that you are as crazy about her as ever but
think two beds might improve sleep for both of you. And don't forget to point
out that "visiting" can certainly spice up the nighttime situation.

            --Prudie, conjugally

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I wake
up in the middle of the night with a terrible thought that leaves me so ashamed
I feel I should be sent to the moral equivalent of a re-education camp. For a
long time I've wondered why the president, who once promised to tell us the
whole truth about l'affaire Lewinsky , is so silent while his staff is
active at the meanest level in riling a sizable portion of the public with
stonewalling tactics. Truly, I believe the country is in the best of hands, but
how do I rid myself of these impure thoughts?
            

            
               --Ashamed and
Embarrassed
            

            Dear
Ash,

            If you are a Catholic, you
confess. If you are a Democrat, you simply hope the president comes to terms
with his heat-seeking missile.

            As to why
President Clinton promised an explanation that seems not to be forthcoming,
this is apparently the strategy he thinks best for self-protection. If silence
is golden, it is also sometimes the best way to maintain decorum. And really,
dear Ash, what would you care to hear him say? Prudie thinks this might be one
union we do not need to hear the state of. And regarding the stonewalling
staff, just think of them as the collective Bad Cop. As for feeling ashamed and
embarrassed, you have much of the country for company. Try to get a good
night's sleep.

            --Prudie, somnolently

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               Hi! This is my first time
writing to you. I am Chinese-Indonesian and work in an embassy in Jakarta. I
need your advice.
            

            
               I have been telling lies
to a guy, basically because I want him to think highly of me. It's not that I
lack confidence or that I feel I'm not bright--I speak five languages. I've
been lying because I had this bitterness toward a former boyfriend, who made me
feel nothing about me was good enough.
            

            
               The
point is, I think this new guy has fallen for me, and I want to be truthful. I
think he ought to know, not because I have fallen for him as well, but simply
to do the right thing. What do you think?
            

            
               --Jakarta
            

            Dear
Jak,

            Oh what a
tangled web we weave when first we fib to act out against old boyfriends.
Prudie suggests you tell this new chap you made up a bunch of stuff for a dumb
reason and want to set the record straight. Make just a short explanation. He
may or may not flee, but Prudie agrees with you that doing the right thing, for
its own sake, has value.

            --Prudie, honestly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               Are you
the Prudy Crowther who graduated from Bryn Mawr in '68? I am Mary O'Hara, Chris
Kane's aunt. Is it proper to ask such a question via e-mail?
            

            
               --Yours, Mary
O'Hara
            

            Dear
MO'H,

            I am not Prudy Crowther,
though I wish I had gone to Bryn Mawr, Bryn Mawr girls being so polite
and smart. And yes, your query is perfectly proper for e-mail. (You should see
some of the questions sent in.)

            It just
dawned on Prudie that she should perhaps say Bryn Mawr "women" instead of
"girls," which is, alas, a hint that 
                  Slate
               's Prudie was a little
before the class of '68.

            --Prudie,
collegially