ArticleIP_3569.txt

   
   
      
         
            

            
               Drawing upon her rich
experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions
about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send
your questions for publication to [email protected]. Queries should not exceed 200 words in
length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably
including your location.
            

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               I am
simply sick at heart about the $1 billion payload that literally went up in
smoke. What's with our space program people, anyway? Are they inept, can these
things not be helped, or have we no business trying this stuff in the first
place?
            

            
               --Rocket Doubter in
Arizona
            

            Dear
Rock,

            Like you,
Prudie was appalled at the literal burning up of $1 billion. Just think what
that money could have accomplished for programs "down here." Prudie does not
know the right answer to your question, but she can't help but be reminded of
Lady Violet Bonham-Carter's remark: "Outer space is no place for a person of
breeding."

            --Prudie, groundedly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               A close friend is a
plastic surgeon who did some minor (OK, semi-major) facial work on me in the
past. The results were fine, but now I want to go to a far more famous--far
more expensive--plastic surgeon for major work: a facelift.
            

            
               I know
my plastic surgeon friend is going to notice the changes when we get together
and will likely feel hurt that I chose a competitor. How can I have my new face
and my old friend at the same time?
            

            
               --Fan of Uplift
            

            Dear
Fan,

            There are many options. 1)
You could say to your surgeon friend what Ivana Trump said: I'm very well
rested, and I changed my makeup. 2) You could tell your friend that you won Dr.
Famous in a raffle. 3) You could say you were in an auto accident, and the
ambulance driver took you straight to Dr. Famous' office. 4) You could be
truthful and say your own version of "I was overcome by curiosity about this
much talked about doc, and now I know his work is as good as yours."

            And this
is to give you fortitude: Prudie's close doctor friend tells her that good
doctors understand these things and do not take affront.

            --Prudie, soothingly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I can't believe I'm
writing to an online lady for advice, but things are rotten with my marriage.
My wife, who has the more important job, is almost disdainful of me in front of
friends and anything but friendly in private. She is the master of the
withering remark and is hypercritical of nearly everything I do or say.
            

            
               To be
fair, I want to pass on to you a complaint that I do find valid, so you can
better judge the situation. She objects to a habit that is really part of my
personality. For whatever reason, I am what you might call a back-seat driver,
even when we're not in a car. My instinct is to give her directions, which way
to turn, how to get places, etc. Her directional sense is average, not
terrible. I fear where this is heading. Have you any ideas?
            

            
               --Hanging on in St.
Louis
            

            Dear
Hang,

            From your outline of things,
it sounds to Prudie as though you are living in ballbuster hell, and she is
married to a shepherd. Gut instinct tells me there are underlying problems
festering that make her mean. (Prudie, for example, could use directions more
often than not, and coming from a loving partner they would cause no
irritation.) Your herding her around suggests that you are compensating, in the
sense that you have found a way to assert control.

            You both
need to get to the bottom of the serious troubles undermining your marriage.
Whether or not you two can do it alone or with a counselor is your call. But do
something and go forward--either together or separately.

            --Prudie, certainly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            

               Granted, I am not young, but I am not a fuddy-duddy either. Are you reacting
to all the blue nail polish, body piercings, spiky hair, and nose rings?
Sometimes the young salespeople are so strange looking it is distracting. Am I
nuts and just out of it?
            

            
               --Thanks,Fussy or
Normal
            

            Dear
Fuss,

            
Prudie--not young but not a fuddy-duddy, either--couldn't agree with you more.
Often feeling like a lobotomized dowager, Prudie blanches when she sees some of
the young people, frequently wondering how it is possible that they think they
look appealing. There is hope, though. When they grow a little older and get
serious about becoming employed, the green hair and atavistic piercings
disappear. Alas, we seem to be stuck with the odd-colored nail polish--purple,
blue, and green being Prudie's unfavorites.

            --Prudie, wistfully