ArticleIP_3571.txt

   
   
      
         
            

            
               Drawing upon her rich
experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions
about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send
your questions for publication to [email protected]. Queries should not exceed 200 words in
length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably
including your location.
            

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               As just an ordinary
citizen I could never have believed that I would become embroiled in the
presidential scandal. Not publicly, of course, but among my circle of
friends.
            

            
               Although I am not a
wagering sort, I foolishly made a bet with a friend before the president's
first apology. I insisted that he would not come forth with a public mea
culpa . My friend insisted that he would. After some heated discussion we
agreed to place a $5 wager on the whole sordid mess, thus adding five more
dollars to the $40 million cost.
            

            
               Now that the president
has spoken, I am in a terrible quandary. I am a law-abiding, honorable, decent
citizen, and I stand by my responsibilities and my debts. But the question is:
What is my debt? Was that speech a mea culpa ? I say, "No." My friend
says, "Yes." I have thought of a Solomonic approach in which I would send $2.50
to my friend and he would send $2.50 to me, but I am also a principled person,
and it is my view that this was no mea culpa --and I am backed by many
commentators, such as Mike Kelly, who said in the Washington Post , "This
speech wasn't a mea culpa . It was an everybody-else
culpa ."
            

            
               I do not want to seem
cheap, but if one parsed that speech, perhaps one might settle on it being
one-twentieth of a mea culpa . I would then owe my friend 25 cents. Is
there any way at all that you can help me do the right, honorable, and
principled thing here?
            

            
               You be
the judge.
            

            
               --Heads or
Tails
            

            Dear
Heads,

            Prudie is not a betting
parlor, but she sympathizes with you, having had her own doubts about that
speech. Since there is disputation about what exactly got said, and your bet
was with a friend, Prudie suggests the two of you go out to lunch--Dutch--and
devote some of the luncheon conversation to the sad and shabby affair.

            You are
right that there was no obvious winner in your wager--not you, your friend, or
even, alas, the president. And by the by, Prudie could not help thinking that
had Mr. Clinton waited 24 hours to give that speech, it might have been quite
different.

            --Prudie,
compromisingly

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I have a loving daughter
(beautiful, intelligent, but not always self-assured). She has been living with
a musician for nine years. She is 29, a schoolteacher, and working on her
master's. He is a popular trumpet player with his own band.
            

            
               Here is
my question. I'm worried about my lovely daughter's future, though that's her
business. I keep my mouth shut. But when it comes to occasions such as his
birthday or Christmas, am I supposed to just send a card, or do I treat him
like my other sons and send a gift?
            

            
               --G. in Arizona
            

            Dear G.,

            Goodness, nine years is
longer than Prudie's marriage to her starter husband, so the young people
certainly sound committed to each another. The problem, Prudie divines, is not
that you don't care for the young man but that you wish the children were
married. Try to put your parental concern aside, since 1) you don't get a vote
and 2) marriage isn't for everyone.

            Since the
young man with a horn is your daughter's spouse equivalent, by all means treat
him as a son, or a proper in-law. Who knows? The family feeling may have a
positive effect.

            --Prudie, hopefully

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I need some ideas. I'm a
21-year-old man, and I just moved to a new city and a new job. I'm having
difficulty meeting women. One might wonder how that's possible, given the
plethora of meeting places most big cities offer my age group, but my troubles
are twofold. First, I don't drink (don't like the taste or the
fuzzy-headedness), and second, I can't stand loud music. (I don't mind other
people drinking, though--it's not a moral thing.) And I tend to cough when
confronted with cigarette smoke.
            

            

               Anyway, I've tried bookstores without any luck, and the average patron's age
at the local dance studio is about twice mine. Churches and the like are out,
too, since my atheism probably wouldn't go over too well at such functions. Do
you have any ideas for me? Do I have to start drinking, believing, and packing
Advil for the music headaches?
            

            
               --Clueless in the
Capital
            

            Dear
Clue,

            Do not start hitting
the bottle, for starters. If the need arises to order a drink, try Prudie's
favorite: cranberry juice and soda, in a wine glass. Also hang in there with
your boycott of deafness-inducing music. The only people you would find there,
anyway, are those whose musical taste would clash with your own.

            You also
need not find religion, or feign it, to meet women. Simply get out and about.
Try affinity groups, classes, volunteer groups of interest to you, singles'
nights at the supermarket, etc. And don't neglect to put out the word to
friends and co-workers that you're available. A 21-year-old man who is a
teetotaler and appreciator of good music sounds very desirable for a young
woman of taste. And don't dismiss the fact that the numbers are in your favor:
Washington, D.C., has more women than men, for reasons unknown to Prudie. Good
luck.

            --Prudie,
socially

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I keep
on wondering about the president's current situation. Why would anyone be
interested if the president had an affair? I could not care less what he does
in his personal life. I know he has plunged himself in deep waters for
committing perjury--that does interest me--but why does everyone make such a
fuss about his affair with silly Monica Lewinsky anyway? She is a grown-up,
they knew what they were doing, it was certainly not harassment. Please help me
clear up my thoughts.
            

            
               --Confused Mone From
Mexico
            

            Dear
Con,

            Well, as to why anyone would
be interested, perhaps it's an American thing. For whatever reason, we are,
unlike Europeans--and apparently Mexicans--always interested in the sex lives
of the famous. Maybe this is none of our business, but that's probably why we
are interested.

            Prudie suspects the Lewinsky
situation became wildly interesting for the following reasons: She was near the
age of the Clintons' daughter; she was a low-level employee; she was not
looking for financial gain; she was, er, Rubenesque; and she was a source of
interest to the president for a relatively long time. And you are right. It
certainly was not harassment.

            Remember,
too, that one of this president's defining characteristics is his Hot Springs
gene, the one that impels him to chase skirts. A fitting coat of arms for
William Jefferson Clinton might carry the legend veni, vidi, vice : I
came, I saw, I partied.

            --Prudie,
regretfully