No. 196: "To Go"
China has already got rid of 66,000, and by year's end will remove
another 800,000. What?
by noon
ET Wednesday to e-mail your answer to [email protected] .
Monday's Question
(No. 195)--"Suggestive Gestures":
Last week, the British government received a letter
offering advice on an ongoing investigation. From whom; suggesting
what?
"From
Christopher Hitchens, claiming he knows EVERYTHING."-- Fred Graver
( Chris Kelly had a similar answer, with dandruff and gin.)
"Ken
Starr intimating Clinton knows more about Jack the Ripper than he's saying. (I
hear Vernon Jordan tried to get him a job at Revlon.)"-- Beth Sherman
(similarly, Steve Spencer and Al Petrosky )
"Oscar
Mayer to the Brits: 'Do what we do. Grind it, spice it, case it, pack it, ship
it. Call it Crazy Dogs.' "-- Marshall Efron
"Me,
suggesting that, in light of recent events, the investigators looking into
Princess Diana's death might want to see whether Kate Moss was driving around
Paris on the night in question."-- Tim Carvell
"The
pope, suggesting that Gen. Pinochet not be extradited to Spain. The pope did,
however, suggest the extradition of Tinky Winky, for 'crimes against God.'
"--Alex Balk
Click
for more answers.
Randy's
Wrap-Up
To News Quiz participants, "investigation" is not
theological (angels?), financial (angles?), historical (Engels?), or scientific
(something about string theory and tangles?); "investigation" means crime
pursued by Ken Starr.
In the 19 th century it meant Pinkerton's,
which yesterday agreed to be purchased by Sweden's Securitas AB for $384
million. Founded in 1850 by Scottish immigrant Allan Pinkerton, the firm ran
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid out of the country on behalf of wealthy
railroad owners, and beat the heck out of striking workers on behalf of anyone
with a few bucks. It also thwarted a plot to assassinate Abraham Lincoln, and
thank God for that, for the entire course of history might have been different
had the Great Emancipator been cut down. (Oh, all right; they uncovered an 1861
plot, a whole other thing. But I still blame them for "Raindrops Keep Falling
on My Head.")
"You need to do more than
post a guard with a doughnut and a nightstick," said financial analyst John
Schnelle, commenting favorably on the merger. "If you are going to enter the
global market, why not do it with a marquee name?" Like, say, Starr?
Humanitarian
Answer
As Alex Balk knew, the Foreign Office received a
plea from the pope to free Augusto Pinochet, reports the Times of
London.
Lord Lamont of Lerwick,
the former chancellor who elicited the written appeal, said, "I suspect that
the representations have been made at the highest level, recognising the
General's great contribution to protecting freedom during the Cold War."
Speaking of the pope, Lord Lamont added: "Having lived in Poland, he
understands what a Marxist dictatorship is all about. As a great Christian
leader, he values human life and he understands what happened in Chile. As an
ironist ..." Well, OK, I added the final phrase.
Daniel Radosh's
Anniversary Extra
Part of the official celebration of News Quiz New
Year. By mayoral order, fireworks and criticism are prohibited.
What do Web surfers think
of us here at the News Quiz? For answers, turn to the Excite search engine,
where, when you enter a phrase, the site automatically suggests "select words
to add to your search." These are words that other people who did similar
searches have included. Selected results:
News Quiz: irony,
Canada
Our
Targets
Bill Clinton: disgusted, castration
Congress: indecent
Strom Thurmond: cowed, mobbed
Strom Thurmond's ass: crap, missy
Rudolph Giuliani: revitalizing
Bill Gates: billionaire, richest, wealth, hell
Michael Kinsley: exhilarating, lewd
Jews: pogroms, nazis, haman
Christians: persecution, persecutions,
persecuted
Scientology: successes
New York: giants
California: crackle
Canada: curling
Us
Randy Cohen: wormwood
Larry Amaros: lazily
Alex Balk: unoccupied
Adam Bonin: eve
Tim Carvell: somatosensory
Greg Diamond: clarity
Marshall Efron: anger
David Finkle: philistines
Bill Franzen: jail
Molly Shearer Gabel: gobble
Leslie Goodman-Malamuth: phonics
Ananda Gupta: blissful
Jon Hotchkiss: kitch [sic]
Chris Kelley: flake
Joydip Kundu: erupting
Barbara Lippert: santa
Noah Meyerson: fowl
Jennifer Miller: love
Norman Oder: intern
Jim O'Grady: earthworm
Alfa-Betty Olson: calliope
Katha Pollitt: moralistic
Sophie Pollitt-Cohen: prolife [does mom know?]
Daniel Radosh: rusty
David Rakoff: smote
Carrie Rickey: thinks
Nell Scovell: immersing
Beth Sherman: savoring
Andrew Silow-Carroll: devotion
Steve Smith: liberator
Andrew Staples: envelope
Deb Stavin: decay
Matt Sullivan: operas
Colleen Werthmann: schnauzer
Kate Wing: bombshell
Common
Denominator
Ken Starr
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