No. 257: "Big 'n' Sturdy"
Dr. Veerabhadran
Ramanathan's team from the National Science Foundation and the Scripps
Institution of Oceanography was surprised by the extent, thickness, and
persistence. Of what?
Send
your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to [email protected] .
Wednesday's
Question (No. 256)--"Artifact or Fiction?":
The list includes a paper shredder (Shark 200 personal security
shredder), a leather picture frame (without picture), and three pair of Jockey®
shorts (athletic midway pouch brief). List of what?
"Items
Tipper Gore sought comfort in, to help relieve her mind-numbing bouts of
depression."-- Larry Amoros
"The
first three gifts of the worst Hanukkah ever."-- Tim
Carvell
"Evidence that will prove Jar Jar is gay."-- Daniel
Radosh
"Friday's NATO bombing targets. 'We're weaning the pilots off slowly,' said a
spokesman."-- Beth Sherman
"If
you're buying these as gifts for your father, your shrink owes you a
refund."-- Jennifer Miller
Click
for more answers.
Randy's
Wrap-Up
Fawn Hall! Ollie North!
Little did I realize, when I typed the charmed words "paper shredder," how much
I missed them. And, judging by your replies, you do too. And so my gift to you:
a piece of Oliver North e-mail obtained by that wonderful organization, the
National Security Archive. (If you like this sort of thing, it has published an
entire book of it.)
3/28/86
From: Oliver North
To: Fawn Hall
Subject: Movie on the Contras
Originally classified secret; now unclassified.
A
friend of mine in N.Y. is leading stockholder in a movie production company and
sent one of the principals to me to help package a $2 million budget for a
feature film called "Contras." It will be a credible work about a Jewish Kid
who gets thrown in jail in Nicaragua, is freed by a Contra group and eventually
sides with them for the right reasons. There is a script currently being
edited; Michael Nouri (Flashdance) will be the male lead; Jim Brunner (Delta
Force, Missing in Action) will do the screenplay and probably direct. There are
a number of stupid films in the works on Central Amer. that all come out on the
wrong side. I think we should help these people out if possible. I have met
them and they are serious, talented and well-connected in the industry. There
is no better way to grab those hearts and minds we need.
The script, Calf , never got shot. But what can you expect? Look what
those Hollywood bastards did to Tom Stern and The
Chimp Channel . See below.
Artificial Holiday Answer
All are Father's Day gifts advertised in
Wednesday's New York Times .
The paper shredder ($39.99) "offers peace of mind" and a tangible way to
say, "Dad, you've got something to hide."
The leather picture frame ($75) says, "Dad, you're not ashamed of your
sadomasochistic pornography."
And the underwear ($9.37) says, "Oh, lordy, I'm
picturing my father naked, although forbidden to do so by the Bible and good
sense."
Arts and Sciences Extra
Which of the following
describes a footprint discovered in a French cave, and which describes
The Chimp Channel , premiering tonight on
TBS?
1. Made 25,000-30,000
years ago, it is the oldest of its kind found in Europe.
2. Most of its jokes are
the oldest on television.
3. Presumably made by an
8-to-10-year-old boy.
4. Involves barefoot
primates.
5. Located just a few feet
from invaluable paintings.
6. Located just a few
channels from invaluable shopping network.
7. Evidence of advance
rise of civilization.
8. Evidence of decline of
civilization.
9. Demonstrates
determination to survive in harsh circumstances.
10.
Demonstrates determination to make a great deal of money in degrading
circumstances.
Answers
1. Cave footprint
2. Chimp Channel
3. Both
4. Both
5. Cave footprint
6. Chimp Channel
7. Cave footprint
8. Chimp Channel
9. Cave footprint
10.
Chimp Channel
Read More About
It
Four Cro-Magnon footprints were found in the
Chauvet cave in the Ardèche region of southern France. The earliest human
footprints, discovered in South Africa, are believed to be 117, 000 years
old.
The Chimp Channel , a half-hour sitcom performed by
costumed chimps with dubbed human voices, has been plagued by trouble on the
set. Writer Tom Stern was fired from the show after he "disrobed and broke a
bottle of wine and a bottle of beer" on the set. "Through improv comedy, I was
trying to get stuff off my chest about the wrong-headed direction the show was
taking," Stern told Daily Variety . "I was
willing to stand naked to show I had no shame or fear about making good
comedy." Scott is said to have demanded more sophisticated jokes involving
farting costumed monkeys.
Mike Madden's Headline Haiku
Irish bar Yugoslavs,
Off the Giants.
Dosage expert isn't
set for Open.
Philadelphia Inquirer , June 3, 1999 (Sports
only)
Common Denominator
Oliver North.
