Beta Wolf
For more on Naomi Wolf, see this week's "."
Just
when it looked like this was going to be the most substantive presidential
election in years, along comes the brouhaha over Naomi Wolf. This weekend,
Time reported that Al Gore's campaign has been paying Wolf, a feminist
author, $15,000 a month (recently reduced to $5,000) to transform Gore from a
weak "beta" male into a strong "alpha" male. The media seized on the story
("Gore's Secret Guru," shouted Time ) as a fresh source of groans and
titters. Pundits agree that by hiring such a "controversial feminist," Gore has
embarrassed himself and exposed his personal and political "confusion." The
real confusion, however, seems to be over why Wolf is controversial or
embarrassing.
1.
She's too radical. The prevailing complaint against Wolf is that she's a
permissive, condom-loving liberal who pushes sex on kids. Every news story
mentions her latest book, Promiscuities (which, as every reporter notes,
is written in "the first person sexual"), in which she reportedly "urges the
teaching of sexual techniques" in school--specifically, "instructing teenagers
how to masturbate and perform oral sex." (Wolf's idea was to let teens satisfy
themselves without resorting to intercourse, but never mind.) Critics also
point out that Wolf has defended former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who
lost her job in part for advocating similar ideas about masturbation.
Republicans are having a field day with naughty quotes from Wolf's book,
reading them to reporters and faxing them to conservative talk shows. The GOP's
favorite quote from Wolf is, "I want to explore the shadow slut who walks
alongside us as we grow up, sometimes jeopardizing us and sometimes presenting
us with a new sense of authentic identity." The Republican National Committee
has issued a press release playing up the "shadow slut" quote and suggesting
that Gore should "run like crazy" from Wolf because he's "married." Pundits
have even equated Gore's naughty adviser with Clinton's adultery. In a CNN
interview, Karen Tumulty, the co-author of the Time article, quipped,
"With Bill Clinton you get a sex scandal, and with Al Gore it's a sex-education
scandal."
2.
She's too retro. Having branded Wolf a "controversial feminist," the media
turn around and deride her hierarchy of "alpha" and "beta" males as a macho
throwback. Time snickers that she has counseled Gore to "bare his teeth"
at Clinton and "take on the 'Alpha male' " in order to become "the top dog."
Other reports say Wolf is trying to make Gore "aggressive" and "dominating."
Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen jokes that Gore may begin to
"growl," "sniff" Clinton, and "challenge him to arm wrestle. ... This will
surely win Gore the respect, admiration and sighs of countless Americans." RNC
Co-Chair Patricia Harrison mocks the insecurity of "Vice Presidents who worry
about their Alpha Male Status."
3.
She's too powerful. While poking fun at Wolf's obsession with male power,
critics insinuate that she's accumulating undue influence in the campaign. In a
front-page report on her "behind-the-scenes influence," the Post cites
sources who say "Wolf's tentacles stretch far beyond" the project to which Gore
assigned her. Pundits call her Gore's "guru" and "mastermind." "FEMINIST WEARS
THE PANTS ON TEAM GORE," screams the New York Post . The RNC headlines a
news release, "Al Gore & the Big Bad Wolf."
4.
She's overpaid. According to the critics, Wolf is somehow wielding all this
undue power without earning her consulting fee. The Post quotes a Gore
aide who wonders "why there's a premium on her advice." The RNC says Gore
"spends money" on Wolf "like a drunken sailor in port." Conservative satirist
Christopher Buckley advises Gore to hire other ineffectual literary celebrities
at absurd rates. Cohen, gasping at the size of Wolf's retainer--"for what?" he
asks--adds, "Who else is on the payroll, Al--Richard Simmons?" Fox News
Sunday host Tony Snow voices dismay that Wolf was "making more money from
the Gore campaign than Al Gore was making as vice president"--a status that
surely no male consultant could have achieved on George Bush's 1988
campaign.
5.
She's dangerous. Wolf may not be doing anything for her paycheck, the
skeptics conclude, but she's planting plenty of crazy ideas in Gore's head.
Time calls her a "mad genius." The Washington Post says she
demonstrates Gore's "weird" taste in consultants. The RNC calls her a "kook."
Fox News Sunday commentator Brit Hume warns that her "strange" advice is
full of "psychobabble." Fellow panelist Juan Williams calls her a "wild
cannon."
6.
She's frivolous. When they're not fretting that Wolf has too many
pernicious ideas, the critics scoff that she has none. They dismiss her as a
mere "wardrobe consultant" who has shuffled Gore's "shirt-and-tie combination,"
instructed him to wear "brown, olive, and tan," and told him "to wear different
colored suits and all that"--evidently to no effect, since, as Cohen dryly
observes, "polls have yet to record the difference."
7.
She's a crutch. Having declared Wolf insubstantial and impotent, her
detractors again reverse course, accusing Gore of relying too heavily on her
for guidance and a definition of himself. "An alpha candidate would not need
Wolf at all. He would not have to be told who he is," writes Cohen. The RNC
jokes that "Real Alpha Males" don't have to hire consultants "to learn how to
be Alpha Males."
8.
She's a dirty little secret. Unable to agree on why Wolf should be
embarrassing, pundits have fallen back on the implication that she must
be embarrassing, since Gore has been employing her "secretly," "funneling her
payments through other consulting firms," and conspiring to "conceal her from
the press." Time likens her to "Clinton's own once secret consultant,
Dick Morris" and suggests that Gore may have been keeping her under "deep
cover." The Washington Post 's front-page story notes, "Gore has gone to
great lengths to conceal Wolf's role." And what exactly is the scandal about
Wolf that Gore is covering up? The media have no answer. Evidently, it's their
little secret.
