ArticleIP_46585.txt

   
   
      
         
            Do Not Love Thy Neighbor

            

               
                  Please send your questions for publication to [email protected].
               
            

            
               
                  Dear
Pru,
               
            

            
               I am a 21-year-old
male living with my girlfriend. I have two kids with her, but I've been going
out with my neighbor. The problem is that my neighbor knows about my
girlfriend, and I don't know what to do. What's worse, I think I'm falling in
love with my neighbor. Can you help?
            

            

               --M.D.
            

            Dear M.,

            Help you what? Move? Get
unattached? Prudie is fascinated that the problem you're concerned with is your
neighbor's knowing about your girlfriend . Usually a man is spooked if
his significant other knows about the neighbor! Prudie must tell you that a
number of things seem less than optimal here. You have barely reached your
majority, yet you have already fathered two offspring--while unmarried--and are
being unfaithful to the woman to whom you've presumably made a commitment. It
would really be lovely, for all concerned, if you were having a goof with
Prudie. On the off chance that your letter is on the level, it could be that
the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others. If you do
call it a day with the mother of your children, you will be spared a divorce
... but will remain financially responsible for child support. If you do make
an alliance with the neighbor, Prudie hopes you will move. And do try to stop
being so horizontally accessible. Given your age, you could very well populate
the whole neighborhood.

            
--Prudie, alarmedly

            

               
                  Prudie,
               
            

            
               I have a problem, I
hate my brother's wife. She has been cheating on him for the past year. (They
have only been married a year.) She treats him terribly, and she tells me she
hates my family. I have been trying to ignore her comments, but it's
impossible. Do I tell my brother how I feel or continue to hold my
tongue?
            

            

               --Seething in Texas
            

            Dear Seethe,

            What do you think the chances are that your
sister-in-law lives near the fellow who wrote the previous letter? Only kidding
... though all these loose people are really no laughing matter.

            From your report of the
timetable, your brother's wife started the marriage with no intention of being
faithful. Chances are that if you know she's running around, it's likely
your brother does, too. The fact that she treats him terribly, however, is
definitely known to him, and it is for this reason that Prudie suggests you say
nothing. He is either masochistically neurotic or is figuring out how to
extricate himself. The only mechanistic thing you can do is make yourself
scarce. And should your brother ask your opinion, give it to him.

            
--Prudie, pragmatically

            
               
                  Dear
Prudence,
               
            

            
               I'm a 27-year-old
gay guy. My problem is that I've fallen for this guy I've been chatting with on
the Internet for the past six months. "Seth" thinks of me as someone he can
confide in, not as a potential boyfriend. He's a serious bodybuilder and says
he's looking for muscular guys only. While I do have a toned bod, I am
definitely not of the bodybuilder ilk. My question: How can I convince Seth
that we would be perfect together (even though I'm not a bodybuilder)? He
doesn't seem interested in meeting. The only thing he does seem interested in
is pouring his heart out to me about how difficult it is to find a muscular
mate. Please advise.
            

            

               --Looking for Love
            

            Dear Look,

            Take a deep breath and
face the facts. You are interested in a partner, this chap is interested in
pecs and lats. Your cybercrush sounds like a muscle-bound moron, and you would
not be perfect together. Where is the commonality of interests? You
might try to figure out why you are attracted, even electronically, to someone
who is whining to you about his inability to find another bodybuilder. For
whatever reason, you want what you can't have. Prudie hopes you will refocus,
consider yourself lucky, and move on to another chat room. Or better yet, start
going out .

            
--Prudie, sociably

            
               
                  Dear
Prudie,
               
            

            
               I accepted a new job a couple of months ago and
relocated to another city, which is away from my grown children. The new job
has been fantastic, and I felt I made the right decision in moving. Until a few
weeks ago, anyway. My manager was moved laterally within the department, and
the person they hired is an ex-manager of mine and the cause of my leaving my
old company! He totally disrespects women and anyone not in his field. The
management knows that I cannot and will not work for him. I have requested an
inter-company transfer so I would not be his subordinate. I have another job
offer, in yet another state, which I rejected to accept this position--but they
still want me to work for them.
            

            
               I am getting ready
to sign a lease for my housing but am unsure if I want to stay here if I'm
forced to keep this position. What do you think I should do?
            

            

               --Haunted
            

            Dear Haunt,

            Move quickly. That is, get a commitment from a
superior that you will be given a different job where you're not reporting to
the chauvinist pig, er, former manager. Don't be shy about mentioning the other
offer. You say that your current management understands your aversion to this
man. If you can get an ironclad guarantee of another position, sign the lease
and get on with your life.

            If you feel there is any
dilly-dallying on the part of your new employer, having already left the area
where your children live would make one more move merely a temporary
inconvenience. If you do not get a firm promise of an inter-company transfer,
by all means go to the company that still wants you. If that happens, and if
what's-his-name winds up working for them it should be Ripley you write
to, not Prudie.

            
--Prudie, hopefully