No. 338: "Super-standard"
In part to
accommodate older people, federal standards now mandate that new ones be 6
inches tall--2 inches taller than the old ones. New what?
Send
your answer by noon ET Wednesday to [email protected] .
Monday's Question (No.
337)--"Substandard":
To justify a current policy, a well-known organization cites these
conditions: "unrelenting crowding, lack of privacy, infrequent communications
with family and the outside world, no ability even to go … for fresh air and a
view." Who is defending what policy?
"No
matter how much you whine, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey has no
plan to install windows in the Lincoln and Holland tunnels."-- Ellen
Macleay
"The
two-drink minimum at the Capitol Hill Hooters during lunch."-- Dwight
Lemke
"I
hate these Observer stories about how tough a supermodel's life really
is."-- Alison Rogers
"The
Corcoran Group, defending its policy of renting out Rosemary Clooney's bowels
for use as a downtown performance space."-- Larry Amoros
"Wow--the Boy Scouts are being much more open about group masturbation in their
new 'Free the Sperm' program."-- Richard Nikonovich-Kahn
Click
for more answers.
Randy's
Wrap-Up
Many participants used
today's question as an outlet for anti-airline hostility, which most therapists
believe is healthier than slapping a co-pilot (most, but not all). One thing to
bear in mind: It is not the squeaky wheel that gets the grease; it is the wheel
on whatever vehicle the guy who owns the grease gun (grease can? greasicator?)
is riding. That is, these things--transportation policy, lubrication
policy--are decided not by what is most needed but by who is in need. Because
so many congressmen fly so frequently, the aviation industry gets much federal
attention. Because CNN executives crash so frequently, CNN devotes
round-the-clock coverage to … wait, that doesn't quite follow. If CNN
executives crashed frequently, they'd be dead and hence unable to demand such
boring programs. And those few who've not yet plummeted to a fiery death
possess so vivid a sense of their own mortality, that they'd instantly cancel
Larry King . OK, look at it this way: If more congressmen and CNN
executives rode the New York City subway, then trains, not planes, would suffer
from unrelenting crowding, lack of privacy, infrequent communications with
family and the outside world. And the congressmen and CNN executives would be
incredibly late to work because the IRT stops neither in Washington nor
Atlanta. But don't think this lets those bastards at Delta off the hook.
Run Silent, Run Deep,
Run the Answer
A 1995 assessment by the U.S. Navy supports the
continued exclusion of women from serving on submarines.
It is unsurprising that the Navy, generally
regarded as the most hidebound branch of the military (and the one most
resistant to ending racial segregation), found a compelling need, in the
national interest and for essential military purposes that you wouldn't
understand, to sustain a reactionary social policy. What is unexpected is that
the debate on submarine duty has been reopened. One reason: money. The Navy is
building a new class of submarines, and it would be less expensive to include
separate quarters for men and women in the initial construction than to make
changes later, should women at some point be granted the vote.
Women serve on submarines in the navies of other
nations, including those of Australia, Norway, and Sweden, but there is much
opposition within the U.S. submarine service to altering the current policy: "I
only know one way, the way I was brought up," said Cmdr. James Foggo
3 rd , commanding officer of the attack submarine Oklahoma
City . "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for the flogging," he did not
add.
To repeat: Cmdr. Foggo
Oh, yes: Foggo
Foggo, Foggo, face like
a froggo!--hypothetical schoolyard chant 40 years ago that accounts for the
commander's hypothetical hostility to women.
Charlene Fanzine
Extra
No one is more
responsible for the U.S.-China economic accord than U.S. Trade Representative
Charlene Barshefsky. Can you identify the source of each of these descriptions
of the triumphant negotiator?
"She's a one-woman phenomenon"-- an admiring comment from her
predecessor, Mickey Kantor.
"the slight, intense woman"-- a presumptuous comment from reporter David
E. Sanger, writing in the New York Times. (He means "bitchy," doesn't he?
Oh, I know the code words. I don't remember him ever calling Mickey Kantor a
"slight, intense woman." Bastard.)
"a Slovenian supermodel"-- a surprisingly restrained comment from former
adjective-abuser Rick Bragg, but not about Ms. Barshefsky. He was referring to
Melania Knauss, Donald Trump's girlfriend, not directly involved in the trade
talks.
"At once jubilant and exhausted"-- David Sanger again. At least he's
stopped picking on Ms. Barshefsky for failing to be 6 feet tall, like some
specimen in his own private human zoo.
"a shrinking violet in her purple tunic"-- an unnecessarily catty comment
from sports writer Robin Finn (again, nothing to do with Ms. Barshefsky),
kicking tennis player Anna Kournikova when she's down. Kournikova is said to
have some innovative ideas on the trade pact. (Said by me. Based on no evidence
whatever.)
"the super-dense core of an exploded star"-- an informative comment
by Times science writer Malcolm Browne -- not about Ms.
B. -- defining either an inspiraling neutron star or Miss Liza Minnelli.
I meant to go back and check, but now I've thrown that section away.
"I've never seen anyone who can operate better on no sleep, totally
hung-over, after partying all night with her whole def crew."-- Mickey Kantor
again, although his actual remarks end with the word "sleep," after which I
take over. It's just a theory. I learned it from Anna Kournikova. In the sense
of making it up as if she'd said it.
Common
Denominator
The awfulness of air travel.
