No. 343: "You Be the Editor"
You are making up
the front page of the Kuwait Times (online edition) for today, Wednesday, Nov. 24.
What is the headline for your lead story?
Send
your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to [email protected] .
Tuesday's
Question (No. 342)--"A and Q":
The answer, from G.W. Bush, responding to Tim
Russert on Meet the Press : "I really don't. I will if I'm the
president." What is the question?
"On
execution night, do you ever pick up a six pack and head down to the pen, to
taunt the condemned and mock them when they beg for clemency?"-- Dan
Evanson
"Do
you think I'm better-looking than Sam and Cokie?"-- Michele Siegel
"Would
you like to have sex with Boris Yeltsin?"-- Peter Carlin
"Do
you ever, just for fun, say, 'No New Taxes' in front of a mirror?"-- Marc
Germain
"Is it
true you have no penis?"-- Daniel Radosh ( Bill Sepmeier had a
similar answer.)
Click
for more answers.
Randy's Wrap-Up
Most responses assume
that G.W. is a stupid, hollow man kept afloat by his own vanity and the
self-interest of his rich supporters. So why hasn't stupidity torpedoed him the
way it did Dan Quayle? And can this be explained without resorting to the
phrase "dumbing down" or alluding to the questions on that Who Wants a Big
Bucket of Money quiz show being multiple choice about the Brady
Bunch , not like in the old days, when quiz show questions were so hard that
you had to cheat to win, and presidential candidates all spoke in full
sentences, in iambic pentameter, in Latin, while wearing complicated wigs and
fancy hats and several layers of underwear with fastenings so elaborate you had
to be like a genius just to undress for one of your Naked Fireside Chats from
the Aero White House, a giant dirigible moored to Zelda Fitzgerald. I guess
what I'm saying is that maybe times haven't changed all that much and that
stupid people are the same all over the world. And if they're not, why hasn't
Time magazine done one of those marvelous trend-spotting covers on The
New New Stupidity Stupidity?
Answer … er …
Question , No, Answer
Tim Russert: Do you have
any opinion of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, a possible successor to
President Boris Yeltsin?
Some Other Meet the Press Moments*
T.R.: Would you accept an
invitation to meet with the Log Cabin Republicans, the homosexual political
group?
G.W.:
All that does is create a huge political, you know, nightmare for people. I'd
rather meet with the least tolerant, most reactionary wing of the party … and
rich people, of course.
T.R.: Do you support
adoption by gay parents?
G.W.:
I believe that society ought to aim for the ideal. And the ideal is for a man
and woman to adopt a child. They should beat it regularly with a stick, educate
it in a Christian academy so it won't get confused by, you know, learning, then
throw it on the barbecue and eat it, and then we can all get high again, like
when we were young and … is this thing on?
*Final
sentence added by News Quiz.
Daniel Radosh's
New Yorker Cartoon Contest Follow-Up
Another suggested caption for that Zeigler drawing
of a weary suburban Atlas arriving home with the world on his shoulders:
"Holy fucking shit! A
globe!"-- Tim Carvell
Joy of Six
Follow-Up
"Three Days of the
Condor , the film, was adapted from the novel Six Days of the Condor .
I had been a fan of the book before they made the movie, and, while
exceptional, I always did miss those three extra days."-- Steven O.
Newberger
Schedule
Note
There will be no quiz on
Thanksgiving while we recover from the effects of that drug in the turkey that
makes you so sleepy. What do you call it? Heroin. Bless Mom and her
unconventional stuffing. News Quiz resumes Monday.
Common
Denominator
Sex first, stupidity second, drugs third--a reverse
of the usual order on date night. (This "common denominator" sponsored by the
Partnership for a Drug Free America.)
