No. 352: "Pro and Context"
Some key words in
a story in Sunday's New York Times were: jumping jack; youngest; "Dream
Catchers;" dreamy, romantic, and elegant; a flip, a toe loop, and a salchow.
What was the story about?
Send
your answer by noon ET Tuesday to [email protected].
Thursday's Question
(No. 351)--"$$$":
"I wonder if she understands how much her life has changed this day.
Mr. Itchy Pants has the potential to make her a millionaire." Who said this
about what?
"This
is the endless tape-loop running in Donald Trump's brain."-- Evan
Cornog
"Patricia Duff, upon hearing that Ellen Barkin had signed a prenup with Ron
Perelman."-- Callie Joseph ( David L. Duncan had a similar
answer.)
"At
last! A cure for jock itch--and wouldn't you know, it was a female scientist
who came up with it. (Great product name, by the way.)"-- Ann
Gavaghan
"Howard Stern, about the guttersnipe he picked up selling flowers in Covent
Garden, whom he intends to turn into the Playmate of the Year. Said the
guttersnipe: ' 'oward, me himplants 'urt!' "-- Laura Miller
"Helen
Gurley Brown, about the many plus sides to sexual harassment."-- Matt
Sullivan
Click
for more answers.
Randy's Wrap-Up
The popular portrayal of
bloated plutocrats has changed enormously in the last 150 years, devolving from
the 19 th century's ferocious robber barons, to that guy on the
Monopoly box who was always chasing his secretary around his desk in New
Yorker cartoons, to the addled and ineffectual potbellies of Depression-era
screwball comedy. And now, judging by News Quiz responses, these wan titans are
barely portrayed at all. Unless he makes his money in show business, today's
billionaire is a sexless and unattractive sap who lacks the vigor and vanity to
crush his rivals and build towering monuments to his ego, although he may have
a nice house. He is a tedious corporate drone, as innocuous as the lackluster
buildings erected by Donald Trump. The fabulously wealthy are failing us as a
social type; indeed, they are not fabulous--not excessively decadent, not
imaginatively Sybaritic. They are, at most, dull on the grand scale. We live in
tepid times.
Inventive
Answer
Lonnie Johnson, inventor of the Super Soaker water
gun, said this about 11-year-old Nadia Smith, inventor of the Mr. Itchy Pants
doll, the winning entry in a toy invention contest for children.
The contest was sponsored by Amazon.com, and
company founder Jeff Bezos was one of the judges along with Johnson; skater
Katerina Witt; Richard Levey, a developer of the Furby; and Thomas Edison
Sloane Jr., a toy-industry pro.
Nadia will receive a
$10,000 college savings bond. Mr. Itchy Pants will be manufactured and sold
online at Amazon, and a 7 percent royalty will be paid into Nadia Smith's
college fund.
Larry Amoros' Broadway
Bulletin Extra
Liza Minnelli's new
show, a tribute to her father called Minnelli on Minnelli , has been
panned-- New York Times reviewer Ben Brantley didn't even like her chorus
boys--so the odds of a long run seem limited. But my "backdoor sources" tell me
that Liza is already planning another show, an homage to her past called
Minnelli on Methadone .
Least Believable
Assertions Extra
Participants were invited to submit actual or
invented credulity-straining claims.
George Bush: "I am reading a book on Dean Acheson."-- Jack Hitt
Pat Buchanan: "I plan to have that swastika tattoo on my ass
removed."-- (But what a photo-op it would be, huh?) Francis Heaney
eBay shopper: "You know, I've gotten so much use out of my fruit
dehydrator."-- Colleen Werthmann
Bill Clinton: "No, really! I swear!"-- Mary Fee Donald Trump:
"I care about ... something."-- Francis Heaney
Tipper Gore: "So I say to Naomi, you weren't kidding about what those
cowboy boots would do!"-- William Vehrs
Ken Tucker's Rolling
Stone "Millennium" Issue Corner
Barry Diller, in the Rolling Stone "Millennium" issue: "Thinking
that being in your 50s would be this much great good fun."
David Geffen, in the Rolling Stone "Millennium" issue: "Crosby,
Stills, Nash, and Young records will be listened to for many years."
Bill Maher, in the Rolling Stone "Millennium" issue: "Twenty-five
years ago I was 18 and I couldn't get a college girl to go out with me, and
today I can."
In fact, everything
everyone asserts in the Rolling Stone "Millennium" issue, except
Princess Mononoke director Hayao Miyazaki's assertion that his biggest
influence is Bruce Springsteen.
Common
Denominator
Philbin, Trump, Clinton.
