to face the situation where you were looking at putting a loved one in the nursing home
well i we're sort of in the middle of it um
really
last February we brought my mother from Florida to us here in Texas and so far she has been with us but
i really look to the future that it may be occurring um i don't know what i'll do i i'm almost inclined to hire somebody um to be in our home with her rather than have to
um-hum um-hum
put her somewhere you know but
uh-huh
you don't feel as though that that's a decision you're comfortable with because
well i think partly and it's not me it's the it seems to me the older generation my mother and father and my in-laws
you'd be
um you know the stigma used to be you went there and and you died and so they have all kind of
you feel as though they are being abandoned if you leave them somewhere
right
you know it just um
and you try and say you know they're nice now or or nicer and
you know i wouldn't want her in one in Florida because i couldn't check on her but if she were in one near here i i would probably be there
uh-huh uh-huh
you know several times per week and i would
sure
stand up and scream if i saw things that were you know improper or or uh you know her care was not
um-hum um-hum
it's difficult boy i really
have you had that experience yet
can appreciate
no i haven't but um
well
i i work in a hospital and we see patients
oh
whose families are just not able to care for them once they've left the hospital and so they have to make that decision often when the patient's still in the hospital
right
it's uh well my father died several years ago and that was you know he had cancer and
eventually the hospital comes and says you know your father uh care you know Medicare says he doesn't need the level of care to be hospitalized so you are going to
uh-huh
eventually they'll come and tell you you will have two days to you know move him somewhere else and and that my mother and i needed to think what do we want to do at that point we did because he was
so then you begin right
not yet comatose but real close and he lived two weeks in the nursing home so we did do that but um at at that time three and a half years ago my mother was in such a
um-hum um-hum
state of depression i didn't think she could handle even if we had full time around the clock care i didn't think
yes
emotionally she could handle him being there it well it yes that too you you know there is no question that uh
yes it's a challenging job physically
just moving them about is um difficult but it really is and it's just uh and i have friends whose we're all in the age group where
um-hum
were thinking about some of these things for our parents and it really is uh
yes
yes
what are some of the things that you have looked for for example with your father what what helped you identify an appropriate
placement was it was it geographic was it how close it was to you or
with
well of course this again was in Florida actually the level of care and in fact two that we looked at were you know they were all in mauve and blue and very elegant looking and
oh that's right
and so on but i didn't like the fact that they had you know eight patients for one uh you know nurse or one care giver and the one we selected was not nearly as
care giver uh-huh
uh up to date however it was clean and the patients were well cared for and i like it because it had a level of five to one and i felt that that would be
yes
better care for my father uh and but several of her neighbors and friends oh but you ought to i said i know but
um-hum
we're making this decision and my mom basically let me make the decision so
um-hum
um and she was pleased with it because he did get um
you know just wonderful care
that's a pretty important factor too that really influences the degree
oh absolutely i don't care what you know one of these had a little ice cream parlor and i looked at the manager i said my father you know will never get out of a bed i don't care about a ice cream parlor
you know if you went there and you were in your seventies and well you just went there
to a you know retirement center yes you could do all that good stuff but this was
more a transitional setting
uh-huh
i wanted him cared for and and not left uh you know if he spoiled his linens or something i did not want that
exactly
you know there what do you do in a hospital work with okay all right
my job is as occupational therapist um
a lot of what we are looking at are are skills that the person is gonna have to be able to perform to be able to live independently once they leave the hospital and we sometimes help the family make that decision if it looks like they're gonna be able to
get in and out of bed or on and off the toilet with just a little bit of help then that's something that they can manage but
you you're talking about an elderly spouse and when it involves quite a bit of assistance and lifting you don't want the other person
right
