okay
all right uh
do you have any friends who have children
i do have friends that have children yes
and what do they say about finding adequate child care i think that may be the key word
they
i think that's correct there i relatively not existent from uh from what i hear from my friends it seems like uh
even when they have consulted day care centers that are quote unquote reputable that are sort of like a chain if i can use that word uh still you have to deal with the people that you know happen to be operating it locally
right
and uh it's just a matter of of trust you know i think they feel that these people are um under qualified basically and underpaid
and i think that sort of goes hand in hand so it's it's difficult for them
well we've certainly found that to be true uh indeed we've
um-hum
our children are now eleven and nine and we moved away from institutionalized child care if we can call those chain kind of things like that uh by that name
uh-huh
um-hum
right
right
and found that uh more creative avenues were the right answer for us uh at one point in time we've had au pairs
um-hum um-hum
um-hum
by trading services with them
um-hum um-hum
then that worked for a while but they were really adequate ones were really tough to find it takes that
i'm sure that's true
um-hum um-hum
that uh mixture of a very mature college student
who wants to do something and yet is willing to give the time
right
and the interest to the children
right i do have a friend that uh uh she and her roommate became live in uh care givers and they they loved it they had stayed with this family from the time
these children were small you know four or five years old up until they were well into grade school
and uh she was paid very well because they the parents trusted them and they you know had done such a good job
so um i can see where someone you know in a position like that in a live in capacity would definitely be the way to go if you're lucky enough to have the finances to be able to do that
well that's true and that's something that we're struggling with now as
yeah
yeah i think it's just a matter of priorities it's uh
you know a terrible thing to say when your speaking of children in that way but you still have to be realistic as well i think
oh yeah
yeah yeah
you know any you
much as uh
other cultures might disagree our lives don't revolve around our children
um-hum
yeah yeah and that's that's that's sad to have to admit too but uh
you know it's just there's so much pressure when you're talking about uh two people that work outside the home and and i think that's one reason why i continue to be without children i
it's just such a such a responsibility and and when i've had friends that have said
when you hear people say it alters your life forever please take heed and realize that that's true so it's uh such a responsibility
well it certainly is uh
if i can gather the other side of the coin for a moment it is such an honor and a thrill
um-hum
oh yeah
to be a parent
um-hum um-hum
that most of the time it's worth it
yeah most of the time
you know i i just have to be honest about it it's not always worth it
yeah oh sure sure
there are those times when i think jeez if i didn't have children i could be out playing bridge or golf
sure
right right right right
but you know it's it's funny i did i i had a friend that said you know before we always said we don't want children because we can't go off on the spur of the moment or this or that and the other and she got older she said but you know we never do those things anyway so
why why am i waiting you know it's just the it's just the way your attitude changes and you mature i suppose but
the thing about the child care i
you know i have friends that struggle financially and and they both do have to work it's a matter of not necessarily uh that she might want to stay home or he as well but you know that they need the money
and uh when i seen some of my my friends that have taken that six week old baby you know to someone else and
it's just i can imagine how emotional it must be and and you know multiplied by the fact that you don't really trust the person or you're uncomfortable with the situation you've been placed in as far as child care goes um it's it's just a scary thing
well we were lucky when our children were that age and
living having lived in a community for a while and we knew the person to whom we were entrusting our children and
um-hum
um um that's a big plus yes
and and felt that that bond of safety and feeling of safety
right
right
and leaving them with them as small children
um-hum um-hum
but we also learned something from that experience as our children got older in that
yeah
uh care givers are not
omniscious omniscipotent they're they are not all things to all people or all children
uh-huh
right right right
the the ones that are good with babies tend not to be good with toddlers
yeah
um-hum um-hum
i think it takes a lot i i don't know i think your patient level must needs to increase as the child gets older i think that might be part of the problem with some people
you know taking care of a baby i know is not an easy thing but when you have them in their their little feet are moving and you have to chase them down constantly i'm sure that's a whole new ball game
oh yeah i got a nine year old i'd trade happily for a babe in arms today
oh really well you sound like your pretty well maybe passed the worst of it as far as worrying about since they're both in school you don't have to worry about a full-time person to take care of them
oh you don't know what happens after they get in school
is that that's something all together different huh
oh yes now we have uh one takes piano lessons at at somewhere on one afternoon and the other one of course can't do the same thing
um-hum
oh of course not
and it has to be somewhere else and no it's not adequate to sit and wait
uh-huh
you can't do that no
no no no no that's just that will not do
no no no no
that's out of the question i'm sure
of course and but we are helping we are you know we are being cooperative what's wrong with you you don't understand this uh that's just the way their minds work and it's almost everyday
right right um-hum um-hum
that's amazing it's amazing that people actually th e stamina that you must you know draw from yourself to deal with it it must be interesting i guess you find find out that you're a much stronger person than you thought maybe
yeah
well i've been finding out that i really am a nice person but it's been hidden for many years
because i didn't need it
uh-huh
and now i need it
and now it's just uh it's just a reservoir that you tend to regularly i'm sure
yeah and and it stays low a lot
well are your are your children now do you feel comfortable um with them coming home after school until you and your wife get home or
absolutely not
no yeah
i mean one of them i would i would um leave unsupervised any time any place any where uh the other one i wouldn't leave unsupervised two minutes
um-hum um-hum
yeah yeah
that's just a difference in kids i suppose
that's true what one leads the other you know
yeah
oh yeah
and if you
and it's it's the one that's going they're going downhill is it is it the one that needs needs more supervision that has a bad influence on the older or on the more mature one
of course
yeah
how unfortunate
you you don't you don't think that good prevails
well i you know i'm living in a dream world what do i know as i said i don't have kids and i'm an only child so i've never been around children
so uh i'm sort of at a a loss where that's concerned but i do hear my friends talk about it
we're we're having such fun my wife and i were both only children
uh-huh
and uh we just couldn't wait to have two children so they would be such friends
um-hum
friends um-hum
wrong
that's like World War Three every minute
i don't know i i i have to admit i was a selfish i was selfish as a child i didn't want a brother or sister and now that i'm older of course it's different you know i think about uh wouldn't it be nice but uh anyway
just make good friends
yeah oh i have wonderful friends that's that's true my best friend is one child of ten
so uh they just sort of you know adopted me as their eleventh child so that worked out pretty well she never had to worry about uh taking anybody to child care because there was always somebody there older to deal with them so i guess that's that's an alternative you could just
have enough
um have have a whole bunch and by the time the little the youngest ones are are there you'll have old ones to take care of them
yeah yeah i don't know it just see when you see all these these uh horror stories on television about child care and
that's true
gosh i just i was seeing something on the television earlier about a little girl that's been telling her mother these terrible stories and of course people are denying it
and uh it's just frightening it really is
well what what's frightening is a parent to see things that that you don't really understand
um-hum um-hum
and then you don't really know what happened we gave up on one babysitter because we came home one night and found
yeah
pieces of um
uh ribbon you know hair ribbon
um-hum
um-hum
tied in a chair
oh my
where obviously she had had
