The Flytrap Cure
Chatterbox sort of likes the idea of a president so desperate to avoid
impeachment, to demonstrate that his private behavior doesn't affect his public
conduct, that he is driven to an orgy of accomplishment. First, peace in
Northern Ireland! Then, a tobacco deal! If Clinton wavers on Social Security
reform--well, we can always release a few of Linda Tripp's tapes! ... We know
you got that hummer, buddy, so you better fix Medicare while you're at it. Then
replenish the ozone layer, democratize China, figure out an efficient way to
store electricity, and solve the Four Color Map Problem, and we'll think
about keeping you on. ... Finally, a cure for the consitutional problem of
second-term lethargy! ...
Now we know: Today's Washingon Post business section carries a
long front-page piece explaining James Johnson's decision to step down as CEO
of Fannie Mae. (See Chatterboxes for 4/13 and 4/9). It turns out that although
the announcement of Johnson's replacement by Clinton budget director Franklin
Raines "surprised many Washington insiders" -- Chatterbox's White House source
said it seemed to happen quickly at the last minute--it was really a
long-planned "crafted departure" that "culminated a process begun several years
ago" when Johnson decided to "limit his tenure with Fannie Mae to a decade."
You see, Johnson also believes in "the enormous importance of an orderly
succession," and desired a long period of "extended overlap with his successor"
to insure "'the smoothest transition possible.'" Plus Raines was ready to go,
and they had to snap him up--even though Raines had wanted to stay in
government until the Social Security problem was solved. ... That's really all
there is too it. A long-planned departure. An orderly succession ... Nothing to
do with, say, the brief exit "window"--the interval between the Paula Jones
dismissal and the Kenneth Starr report-- during which Clinton officials can
leave without looking like rats jumping ship. The Post would have
mentioned that if it were a factor. So it must have nothing to do with it. ...
Just a smooth transition ...
Almost Everything You Need to Know About Washington in One Quote: In
the April 12 Post, Peter Baker reported on White House aides who are
annoyed at former chief of staff Leon Panetta for continuing to urge the
president to come forward and say what happened between him and Monica
Lewinsky. Panetta is contrasted with George Stephanopoulos, the other White
House apostate, who has a lucrative ABC News contract. An anonymous White House
official tells Baker: "The difference with Leon is some people wonder, 'You're
not getting paid for this. Why do you keep doing it?'" ... But if you
are getting paid, treason is OK? ... Maybe Panetta is saying it because
it's what he thinks about an important issue. .... Nyah. Can't be.
...
Gratuitous Automotive Item: Chtterbox says don't give up your
stereotypes of the Japanese as economic super-producers just yet. Consumer
Reports just published its Annual Auto Issue, which contains the most
useful two-page spread in automotive journalism. These pages (60 and 61) rank
the reliability of most new cars sold in America, based on a large reader
survey. (Note this is not a ranking of a car's enjoyability--who reads
Consumer Reports for that?--only of whether the car is likely to break.)
What leaps out from this year's chart is the way Japanese manufacturers have
maintained their edge over Detroit's Big Three. The top six makers are still
all Japanese, and the very best models--such as the Acura Integra, the Honda
Odyssey, the Honda Prelude, the Nissan Maxima. and the Lexus SC300--are still
built in Japan itself, not in the Japanese makers' North American plants. ...
Like many ancient Volvo-bred yuppies, Chatterbox will believe America is back
on top only when Detroit makes a car Chatterbox might actually want to buy. ...
O.K., there's one. The Ford SVT Contour. But its reliability is suspect.
...
Another news flash from the Auto Issue concerns the sad performance of the
formerly best-selling Ford Taurus since its tragic Gaudi-esque redesign. It's
now one of the least-reliable medium sized cars, with 40 percent more problems
than average. Hey, it may be ugly, but it doesn't work that good either! ...
The Taurus is even sub-Saab---the Saab 900, pilloried in Chatterbox for 3/13,
has improved somewhat. It's now only 20 percent worse than average. ... But the
award for the most depressing performance goes to [drumroll] GM's new minivans!
With 86 percent more problems than average, they're the worst vehicles ranked,
except for GM's own Camaro and Firebird V-8s. ... Meanwhile, the wildly
attractive Audi A4, contrary to all expectations, may actually be reliable.
Consumer Reports ranked it above even the vaunted Toyota Camry (which
slipped a bit, but remains 20 percent better than average). ..."Less Gaudi,
More Audi," is Chatterbox's new motto. ...
Scariest Quote of the Week:
"Voters in the Generation X pool could care less what role model their
president presents. They want someone to help them stop their kids from
smoking."
--Dick Morris, former Clinton pollster
You mean they have kids already? Those punks? Chatterbox is feeling
ancient indeed. Maybe it's time to plan an orderly succession. ...
