Area Man Admits to Lack of Interest in Football
Dear Merrill,
Wow. I think I might finally be getting the hang of this
getting-up-before-midafternoon concept, and with absolutely no dog-assistance
whatsoever. Just a short note to get the ball rolling this morning: I know this
is a national forum and all, but since the other Breakfast Table participants
I've read seemed to have no qualms about discussing what was in their local
news (Long Island politics, the New York Senate race, etc.), I figured I'd
follow suit. Man, that Bill Leuders is really hopping mad about the zoning
board today! OK, so maybe that one doesn't work, but I thought I'd be remiss if
I didn't mention the biggest local news of the week (all right, who am I trying
to kid, the year) here in Madison: Wisconsin is going to the Rose Bowl! Ron
Dayne Badger football kicks ass! WHEEEEEEOOOOOO!
Everybody here is soiling themselves over this development. Actually,
though, I have to admit that I've never really had any much interest in
football. At least, I don't think I have ... is that the one where the people
all drink out of the backs of their pickups for like six hours, and then the
team runs out to like kettle drums and blaring brass bands, and the crowd
stomps on the bleachers and they chant fascist propaganda really loud in
unison, and paint themselves and scream like apes and dislocate each others
knees and people get crushed and everybody pees on each other and throws their
feces like in Gorillas In the Mist and then they all go home and get
date-raped? Because if it is, then I don't really know much about it.
Yours in Christ,
Todd
