What Harry Knows
So Harry Thomason is back in
town. The First Friend testified to Ken Starr's grand jury today, but that's
probably not the most important reason he has returned. If news reports are
correct, the sitcom producer is also here to advise Clinton on his Monday grand
jury appearance. That is, to stage-manage him.
(Bit of advice for the
president: Harry hasn't had a hit for five years. How 'bout calling one of the
ER producers?)
Starr and
the White House no doubt negotiated endlessly about the nuts and bolts of
Monday's testimony, but you can be sure Thomason, Clinton, and Co. are doing
everything they can to tilt the arrangements in the president's favor: What
should Clinton wear? How should he sit? Where should the camera be? What should
be in the background? How should he be lighted? These may not be questions
on which a presidency hangs, but they're undoubtedly ones that the White House
is obsessing about. It's political theater, and they'll treat it like
theater.
Thomason and the White House aren't talking, so I consulted
my own image expert, Jackson Bain. He runs Bain and Assoc., a PR firm in
Northern Virginia, and he specializes in prepping corporate honchos for scary
media appearances. What would Bain do if Clinton were his client?
First of
all, "Clinton must look as presidential as possible," says Bain. Clinton should
wear his soberest Leader-of-the-Free-World outfit: dark blue suit, white shirt,
dark tie. The Oval Office would be the ideal setting, but it appears Clinton
will testify in the Map Room, a private meeting chamber, where he has testified
twice before. It's filled with Chippendale furniture and--surprise--maps, but
they should be out of the picture. The Clinton operatives should place an
American flag and a photo of Hillary and Chelsea behind the president.
Clinton must sit behind a desk, and the camera
should see only his head and shoulders. "Not to be crude, but I don't want
anything below Bill's third button showing, and I want the desk between Bill's
private parts and the grand jury," says Bain. "I don't want anything on his
desk, and I don't want to see his hands.
"I want a nice tight shot,
as tight as possible. Get those baby blues right down the throats of the people
watching in the grand jury. I want to give the grand jurors a sense that they
really are in the room with him."
That also
means great sound--the "best stereo microphone money can buy. And great
speakers in the grand jury room. If I could sneak a sub-woofer in there, I
would."
No one but Clinton should appear in the camera shot. This
is of paramount importance. "If I am running a show to get Clinton off, I want
the grand jury totally focused on this man's face, his honesty, his sadness of
having to do this. I want the audience's total concentration on his guiltless,
guileless face. I want them to see his eyebrows go up and down. He is the only
person the grand jury wants or needs to see."
Clinton should look at Starr,
not at the camera, but Starr himself should not be visible. "If I were on
Clinton's side, I would not let them show Ken Starr," says Bain. "They should
have him be just a disembodied voice. Having another head in the picture is a
distraction. And if you do have to show Starr, just show the back of his ear,
not his face. There is nothing less attractive than the back of someone's
head."
(Should Clinton be able to
watch the grand jury's reaction on a monitor? "No, Clinton's total
concentration should be on the eyeballs of Ken Starr.")
David
Kendall should be invisible, too: You don't want Clinton to look like a puppet
of his lawyers. And as for Hillary, forget it. "Hillary cannot be there! No,
no, no! It is too awkward. Just one quick nanosecond glance at her, just one
moment of discomfort, and the grand jury will see it. You don't want
that! Keep her out of the West Wing. Keep her out of the White House. Some time
later they can go on some benign morning talk show together and talk about
this."
And what if Bain were advising Starr?
"I would make Clinton look
as small as possible. I would show the desk. I would show Clinton fidgeting
with his hands. And I would show Starr. Starr has been well trained to smile
benignly. He has learned to smile sweetly to the media, because he realizes
that America does not like him that much. He has developed this beatific smile,
and I would want to show that.
"Behind Starr I would put a
neutral or chocolate-brown background--but not black--so his flesh tones look
good. He is a pale-looking fellow. You really have to warm him up."
Movies
and The Dress, Part 2
Last week I suggested
that Clinton watch three movies for inspiration about how to escape the dress:
Primary Colors , Presumed Innocent , and There's Something About
Mary . Reader Jason Furman reminds me of a fourth film: Gattaca , a
sci-fi thriller in which the hero hides small packets of blood in his fingertip
and urine in his bladder (don't ask how) in order to fool DNA tests. Does the
CIA have such technology, Mr. President?
More Flytrap
...
