We Happy Few
We Happy
Few
About 17,000 people had
signed up for
Slate
by the middle of this week, a day or so after
we became a paid-access site. For reasons explained in "Readme" last
week, we're very pleased with that number. Thanks, and welcome to all our
members. And to those of you who are reading this on our "front porch" (free
area): Come on in! Click here to subscribe.
Keep in mind that in
America, you get what you pay for. The version of this column available only to
subscribers is not the rather perfunctory sales pitch you see before you. It is
an extravaganza of witty jokes, brilliant political insights, the startling
confessions of five women who claim to have slept with President Clinton in the
past week (three of whom say they also slept with Special Prosecutor Ken Starr,
one simultaneously), the details of Microsoft's plans to incorporate Puerto
Rico into the next generation of its Internet browser, a sonnet in memory of
Lloyd Bridges, a special offer for laundry detergent, and a secret password
that will get you into the hidden pages of any sadomasochistic site on the Web
(with the exception of amazon.com).
Subscribers will confirm that it's heaven on this side of the wall: The sun
always shines, all people are beautiful and kind, there is rice pudding for
dessert--and seconds! So please do join us.
A Quiet
Word to Subscribers
If anyone
asks, please do us a favor and confirm the preposterous lies in the preceding
item. Feel free to substitute your favorite dessert or to embroider and
fabricate generally. We're all in this together now.
Navigational Notes
Those reading
Slate
on Internet Explorer 4 should be sure to take advantage of
the new "nav bar" that runs across the top of each page. By clicking on the
various section headings, you can get a drop-down list of their current
contents and go directly to any article or feature in
Slate
. We
will soon be adding this bar at the bottom of pages, too (in the optimistic
belief that even in fin de
siècle America, some people will a]
finish reading an article and b] wish to read another). We will also be
providing the nav bar to users of Netscape Navigator 4. (Click for a free
download of the latest version of Explorer or
Navigator.)
If you're
already a subscriber to
Slate
, you don't need to subject yourself
to the vulgar sales pitch we impose on newcomers to slate.com. Nor must you
remember that damned password and user name. Just check the box that says,
"From now on, sign me in automatically" (right below the sign-in boxes). Next
time you come to
Slate
, you'll go directly to the table of
contents.
Boycott
the Web
You can
avoid the Web completely, if you want, by signing up for e-mail delivery.
Slate
on
Paper
, e-mailed each Friday, is a
text-only compilation of most of what
Slate
has published during
the week. It is formatted for printing out on standard-size paper. "Today's
Papers" is also delivered daily via e-mail. These services are available to
subscribers only. Click here to sign up for e-mail delivery. Last week we purged our
delivery lists of people who hadn't subscribed. If you're a subscriber and
your delivery was discontinued, please accept our apologies, and sign up
again.
Scouts'
Honor
We hate to sound like Girl
Scouts, but you really must accept cookies if you're going to subscribe to
Slate
. If you don't know what cookies are, in the technical,
computer sense, you almost surely can ignore this warning. (But click here for an
explanation.) If you do know what cookies are and have set your computer not to
accept them, our password/sign-in process won't work for you. Look, our cookies
are truly harmless. Honest. Yes, yes, that's what the witch told Hansel and
Gretel, but did she supply a list of ingredients to prove it? We do. Click
here to read it. And please accept cookies so you can enjoy
Slate
.
--Michael Kinsley