No. 3
By Randy
Cohen
I give the answer; you
give the question and identify the speaker: "Well, I think it's obvious that I
haven't looked for a way out here; what I've looked for is a way
forward."
by noon ET on Wednesday to
e-mail your answer ([email protected]).
Responses
to Monday's Question (No. 2)--"Taste Makers":
Fill in
the blank:
Buffy Shutt, president
of marketing at Universal Pictures, told a New York Times reporter, "By
sheer bulk, the _______________ are driving cultural tastes now. They're
amazing consumers."
"Special
prosecutors."-- Chris Kelly ( Andrew Milner had a similar
answer)
"LEETLE GIRLS. And, as a
side note, I'm taking Buffy Shutt as my new porn name."-- Beth
Sherman
"Producers I've slept with
who then go right to grain alcohol."-- Bill Franzen
"McCaugheys? (Actually, is
it the teen-age girl audience? Just a hunch.)"-- Meg Wolitzer (similarly,
Josh Gillette )
"International banking
conspirators of the Zionist Operated Government soon to be brought low by my
military-grade anthrax; soon that nest of seething pervs, that island of sin
called Manhattan, will see its Hudson and East rivers run with blood and ...
what? Oh, sorry, wrong Web page."-- David Rakoff
" 'The pendulous testicles
of aging comedian Milton Berle ...' Although the real answer may be: 1)
America's teen-agers; 2) financially independent lipstick lesbians; or 3)
roving bands of youths--I refuse to give a legitmate response to any
'fill-in-the-blanks' that involve any human being named 'Buffy Shutt.'
"-- Larry Amoros
"The Spice
Girls."-- Barbara Lippert
"The Right Wing Conspiracy
Nut Moms."-- Jon Hotchkiss
"Olestra-shunning fat
teen-agers of America. (Think about it: If you can't read, what else are you
going to do but eat?)"-- Nancy Franklin
"Clinton defense
lawyers."-- Dennis Doughty
"People who have had sex
with Bill Clinton and been bought off with a job."-- Alan Stewart
Randy's
Wrap-Up:
Your contempt for American
taste is as bracing as a splash of Old Spice, now with real buttery flavor.
Thank heaven for Beth Sherman (same initials as Buffy Shutt: suspicious?), who
clearly knows--as did several of you--that American taste is in the hands of
teen-age girls. This accounts for the popularity of Hanson; Leonardo DiCaprio
and Ally McBeal ; and that new MTV Mutual Fund, the one with the adorable
drawings of ponies on the prospectus.
That's
why, as a campaign manager, I advise my candidates to be sexually
unthreatening, have very little body hair, and possess voices that can
effortlessly lift an inoffensive pop tune well into the soprano register. Which
perhaps explains the success of New York Sen. Al D'Amato (if you accept a bald
head as a substitute for a bare chest).
"Taste Makers"
True-Life Hollywood Answer:
"young girls"
Buffy
Shutt was offering the Hollywood consensus that teen-age girls are becoming the
dominant force influencing the success of movies. Unlike teen-age boys, who go
to a movie once with a friend or two, girls often see the same film many times,
and frequently attend in groups.
Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and
will be published at Slate 's discretion. Slate may publish your
name on its site in connection with your submission.
