Drawing upon her rich
experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions
about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send
your questions for publication to [email protected]. Queries should not exceed 200 words in
length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably
including your location.
Dear
Prudence,
The
confluence of the Slate toothpaste article
and a recent event has inspired me
to write. I have lived outside the United States for quite some time now and am
not at all up on current U.S. manners. Recently, a visiting U.S. State
Department official flossed at the table after dinner in a restaurant. Is this
now accepted hygienic behavior in the States, or is it as undiplomatic as it
looked to me?
--Not a Diplomat
Overseas
Dear Not
A,
You will be relieved to know
that quality people in the United States have kept flossing a private ritual.
Prudie would not even do it in front of The Beloved, let alone at a restaurant
table. (Prudie even retires to the ladies' room to use her gold toothpick.)
It is a
safe bet that your State Department friend is in no danger of being given an
ambassadorship. Your take on his behavior was correct: It was gauche .
Prudie does have one slight bit of curiosity about the faux pas. Did he whip
out the little white plastic thing that holds the floss, or was he using one of
those ready-to-go saw instruments that look like a cello bow for a doll
house?
--Prudie, flossily
Dear
Prudie,
I feel like a fool. A
group of guys went out for a drink after work, and sitting at the bar was a
real stunner: a 6 foot blonde with a fabulous face and figure to match. I
struck up a conversation with her and was greatly annoyed when one of my
friends insisted I interrupt the conversation to go have a word with
him.
He got
me away from the bar and told me the beauteous blonde was a guy. I felt like a
moron for not being able to figure this out myself. Of course the teasing has
not abated, and the weight of my imaginary dunce cap is giving me a headache.
Any thoughts?
--Dimmer Than a 10 Watt
Bulb
Dear
Dim,
Prudie
wants you to immediately regain your sense of humor and be grateful that your
pal stepped in before any, uh, harm was done. It is sometimes difficult to
determine if it's real or if it's Memorex, though build, voice, and the hint of
a beard can sometimes be a tip-off. To defend yourself against the teasing
friends and to show that you, too, can see the humor, Prudie offers a fun Latin
saying you might share with your buddies: "Dumbassus! Hottie iste
transvestitus! " Meaning roughly, "Fool! That gorgeous woman is a
cross-dresser!" Prudie's betting you will, in the future, pay closer attention
to knockout ladies in public places.
--Prudie, cautiously
Dear
Prudence,
Your
answer to the fishy question was imprudent, I think. In your response, you
used the word "floundered." Now if you meant that to be a pun, then I have no
problem with it, but if, instead, you meant that you failed, the better word
might have been "foundered," meaning that you a) failed completely or b) went
directly to the bottom. You will of course make the final decision, which will
be prudent in the end, or prudence at work, whatever!
--Cordially yours, I
amCarl in Simpsonville, S.C.
Carl, you
devil you,
Such
wonderful wordplay just to respond to the trout letter comments. Your first
supposition was right: Prudie was punning. It was the least she could do.
--Prudie, admiringly
Dear
Prudie,
I am
the product of perhaps too permissive parents in that they believed, being
children of the '60s, that excessive discipline and training may lead to
stunted personality development in their children. As a result, I have no solid
knowledge of basic etiquette. Can you recommend a general text that is current,
comprehensive, and for my parents' sake, progressive?
--B.H.
Dear B.,
Prudie
salutes you for knowing what you do not know and concurs that a world without
etiquette is a less lovely one. Prudie's suggestion would be to wander into a
good bookstore, online or actual, and select the most appropriate book by
Letitia Baldridge. She is both progressive and proper, having made it her
business to keep up with the times.
--Prudie, politely
