Heads Up!
With the millennium
looming, the list-makers seem to have inherited the earth. First, the American
Film Institute drew up a register of the 100 greatest American
films ever made. Random House's Modern Library chased the idea a few
months later with its own list of the 100 best works of fiction of the century, and next month it
promises to name the 100 best works of nonfiction . Last month, the Freedom Forum's
Newseum compiled a roster of the 100 top stories of the century , and this week New York
University's journalism department pegged the century's 100 best works of American journalism .
Not to be left behind, we've plundered the
extensive newspaper archives at the Columbia University School of Journalism,
our Nexis account, and even Peter Jennings' new best-selling book to assemble a
more compelling--and concise--look at the 100 high points of the century.
Your mileage may vary, so if you've come across an
important headline that we've overlooked, please send it to [email protected].
Click to read
the best of the nominations.
1901:
Near-Sighted Teddy Roosevelt Bags President McKinley on Safari
1903:
Wright Brothers Announce 3-Second Meal Service on All 12-Second Flights
1908:
President Taft Calls for Federal Legislation To Enlarge Doorways, Railway
Seats, Bathtubs
1912:
Albania Lapses Into Anarchy 85 Years Too Soon
1912:
Shipping Magnate Declares Titanic -Iceberg Merger Successful
1913:
Congress Creates IRS "To Unite Nation Against Common Enemy"
1914:
Panama Canal Opens New Era of Global Trade in Panama Hats
1914:
Fighting Breaks Out Between War Correspondents
1915:
German Submarine Fires Warning Torpedo Into Lusitania
1916: Army Physicians Laud Mustard Gas as First Inhalable
Condiment
1917:
President Wilson Vows To Make World Safe for Robber Barons
1918:
Lenin Orders Pictures of Czar's Family Put on Milk Cartons
1918:
Wife's Honeymoon Antics Give Gandhi Idea of Passive Resistance
1919:
Congress Votes for Prohibition, Celebrates With First Toast in Congressional
Speakeasy
1919:
Senate Rejects Treaty of Versailles for Having Suspicious Foreign-Sounding
Name
1920:
Women Experience Futility of Voting Firsthand
1921:
Humane Loophole in Immigration Quotas Lets Some Foreigners Enter U.S. as
Livestock
1925:
Heisenberg Says Uncertainty Principle May or May Not Be Greatest Discovery
Ever
1927:
Parisian Hijacker Forces Charles Lindbergh To Make Nonstop Transatlantic Flight
at Gunpoint
1927: Supreme Court Rules Films Do Not Have Right To Remain
Silent
1928: Babe
Ruth Seldom Gets to First, Admits Wife
1929:
Stock Market Crash Linked to Jews, Blacks, Catholics, Radicals, Foreigners, and
Anyone Who Looks Funny
1929: Al
Capone Denies Murder for Profit Allegations, Insists Gangland Slayings "Purely
for Fun"
1933: U.S.
Goes off Gold Standard, Adopts Moldy Crust of Bread Standard
1933:
FDR's "The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Eleanor" Speech Calms Nation
1933: New
Deal, Same Deck
1933:
First Woman Cabinet Member, Frances Perkins, Celebrates by Getting Coffee for
Other Cabinet Members
1934:
Newborn Ralph Nader Files Suit Against Mother for Ejecting Him Into Hostile,
Unsafe Environment
1935:
Alcoholics Anonymous Sells First Mailing List to Smirnoff
1935:
National Labor Relations Act Recognizes Workers' Right To Be Fired
Collectively
1935: Remaining Chinese Communists Receive "I Survived the
Long March" T-Shirts
1936:
Moscow Show Trials Notably Lacking in Good Show Tunes
1936:
Spanish Civil War Erupts as Bullfighters, Flamenco Dancers Clash Over Limited
Supply of Tights
1937:
Jobless Rate Tops 110 Percent With Many Unemployed at More Than One
Occupation
1937:
Over-Excited Hindenburg Announcer Explodes
1938:
Chamberlain Calls Hitler "The Nicest Totalitarian Maniac I've Ever
Appeased"
1939:
Poland Invades Itself
1939: Lou
Gehrig Has Lou Gehrig's Disease; "With My Name, I Figured It Was Only a Matter
of Time," Says Yankee First Baseman
1940:
Millions of Women Enter Work Force for Lower Pay, Longer Hours; "It's the
Greatest Thing Since Slavery!" Say Industry Leaders
1940: Leon Trotsky Dies in First Ice Pick-Assisted Suicide
1941:
"Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be" Clause Added to Lend-Lease Act
1941:
Japanese Stir-Fry Pearl Harbor
1942:
French Resistance Waiters Bravely Refuse to Refill Nazi Officers' Coffee
Cups
1943:
Oklahoma! Admitted to Union; Sprightly Musical To Replace Boring Actual
State
1944:
Allied Soldiers Hear of Nude French Sunbathing, Storm Normandy Beaches
1945:
Stalin "Genuinely Touched" by Gift of Eastern Europe at Potsdam Surprise
Party
1947: FAA
Charges Drunken UFO Pilot in Roswell Crash
1948:
Truman Defeats Dewey; Huey and Louie Have Yet To Concede
1950: U.S.
Blamed for Starting Hopeless Asian Land War 15 Years Too Soon
1954: Some
TV Couples May Be Sleeping Together, Say Insiders
1956: U.S.S.R. Asks Hungary if It Has Parking Spaces for
10,000 Tanks
1956:
Thousands of Innocent Soviet Corpses Thrilled by Posthumous Rehabilitation
1958:
First Hospice Allows Patients To Die in Homelike Setting--Surrounded by Greedy,
Hateful Relatives
1959:
Congressional Quiz Show Investigators Stunned by Revelation That Not Everything
on TV Is Real
1960: U-2
Shot Down Over U.S.S.R.; Infant Bono Unhurt
1961: CIA
Markets Bay of Pigs Blooper Reel
1962:
Thousands of Innocent Trees Die To Make Silent Spring a Best Seller
1963: JFK
Accidentally Struck Down by Flying Zapruder Lens Cap
1964:
Rockefellers, Kennedys Conscientiously Object to War on Poverty
1966: Marshall McLuhan Caught Reading
1966:
Robert McNamara Commended by PTA for Applying New Math to U.S. Casualty
Figures
1968:
Martin Luther King Jr., RFK Assassinated Separately but Equally
1968:
Hippies, Beatniks Sign Historic Personal Hygiene Ban
1968:
Nonproliferation Treaty Strictly Limits Nuclear Weapons to Nations That Can
Afford Them
1969:
Teddy Kennedy Charged With "Leaving the Scene of a Successful Cover-Up"
1970:
Near-Perfect Neil Young Guitar Solo Ruined by Addition of Second Note
1972: J.
Edgar Hoover Buried in Simple but Elegant Black Dress
1973: Liz
Taylor Will Use New Bar Code Technology To Track Husbands
1973:
Entire Consumer Product Safety Commission Dies in Pinto Explosion
1974: Ford
Pardons Nixon for Plaid Trousers
1974: Good News: Smelly Ozone Layer Disappearing
1977: IBM
Monopoly Threatens Free Market, Warns Head of Tiny Start-Up Microsoft
1979:
U.S. Embassy in Iran Under New Management
1981: MTV
Brings Western Civilization to Official Halt
1981:
Reagan Shot En Route to NRA Fund-Raiser
1981:
Sandra Day O'Connor Receives Congratulatory Pat on the Behind From Fellow
Justices
1984:
"Mondale Fever" Sweeps Minnesota, District of Columbia
1985: "We
Are the World" Gives Hope to Rock Has-Beens Starving for a Hit
1987:
Ollie North Wins Daytime Emmy
1988: Democratic Platform Not High Enough To Make Dukakis
Visible
1989:
Chinese Authorities Kick Off "Keep Tiananmen Square Clean" Week With Special
Tank Sweepers
1989:
Scientist Achieves Cold Fusion on Honeymoon
1991:
Iraqi Army Stages Spirited 3/8-of-a-Second Counteroffensive
1993: "For
God's Sake, Use a Decent Camera!" Pleads Extraterrestrial
1994:
Abstinence TV Spots Boost Teen Celibacy to a Record 0.0002 percent
1996:
Desperate Postmaster General Tries To Hand Deliver E-Mail
1997: AOL
Offers 50 Hours of Free Downtime
1998: Wave
of 1970s Nostalgia Drives up Oil Prices
1998:
Primitive Amazon Tribe Still Using Apple IIs
1998: Visa To Assume National Debt for 5.9 percent, No Annual
Fee
1998:
Hair Club for Men Must Admit Women, High Court Rules
1998:
"Bad Luck Gene" Identified
1998:
China's Abacuses Still Reeling From Year 2000 B.C. Problem
1999:
Internet Fills up Last 3 percent of Terrifying Void of Existence
1999:
ACLU Targets Lactose Intolerance
1999:
Harvard To Accept Mortal Kombat Scores in Place of SATs
1999:
Western Union Introduces Singing Mammogram
1999: FDA
Approves Nicotine Eye Patch
1999:
Drugs Win Drug War
1999: Turnout for Apocalypse Lighter Than Expected; Most
Prefer To Be Elsewhere When World Ends
Is there an important headline that we've
overlooked? Please send your nominations to [email protected].
Click to read the best of the
nominations.
